i'd break her in half

a phrase used in describing an attractive female whose figure is far too petite for hardcore sexual intercourse.

Commonly heard from the lips of a rather large and/or cocky male figure who feels his brute force may, in fact, injure the above-mentioned female.

(hott girl walks by)

Hyper Guy: Dude, check her out! Boy, what I'd do for a night with that...

Cool Guy: Whatever man, I'd break her in half. Let's go hit on the softball team.

Hyper Guy: Good idea!

by Sam Polk December 16, 2008

i'd bag her groceries

It is the same as saying "I'd hit that".

"hey dude look at that chick over there I'd bag her groceries".

by monkey lover0 March 16, 2011

i'd pee on her porch

Confusing expression of love/admiration for a woman. Similar to boys pulling a girl's hair on the playground. He really cares for her, but is uncomfortable/awkward about expressing the emotion. This euphemism that sounds vaguely degrading is known to mean that he's actually really in to her.

Can also be used in the accusatory "He'd pee on her porch" - used to call out a "bro" for his love without outright embarassing him and having uncomfortable conversations about real feelings, which should, obviously, be avoided at all times.

"That woman has duel masters degrees, volunteers at the soup kitchen, and has the body of a goddess. I'd pee on her porch"

"Look at Gifford talking to that straight up super vixen, he'd pee on her porch"

by Donghammer Collective February 10, 2015

i'd let her touch it

When a male is interested in a female and would like to have sexual relations with her.

Jon: Man, look at that chick, dude, she's hot.

Steve: Hell yeah. I'd let her touch it.

by lobo108 January 15, 2009

I'd lick her asshole

A phrase used to identify a girl that is attractive enough for you to lick her asshole. Excessive beauty is required

Check her out, she's a fox, i'd lick her asshole for sure.

by paulie cipriani January 12, 2009

I'd smash her pasty

I would have sexual intercourse with that lovely young lady over there.

"What do you reckon john, would you smash her pasty?"
"I'd smash her pasty, man, I'd go to greggs on that bitch!"

by Megaross March 26, 2010

I'd Pee in Her Butt

She is so hot, your main thinking isnt to actually pee in her butt, but you would if she wanted you to.

At the bar with your buddies, a hotty walks across the room, you say I'd Pee in Her Butt.

by Kulvir March 5, 2012