masterbating date-imitater

The guy who imagines a whole date with a girl using his hand as the girl. He'll cook diner and then just makeout with his hand too scared to make a move, c,mon you know they exist....

.....also, he may put clothes on it, even name it

Doug: "Hey Rocco, remember Norb?"

Rocco: "Ya, man, he used to try and get me to talk to Julie, ...I mean his hand, ...really freaked me out man.

Doug: "Dude I know, he was a classic case of a masterbating date-imitater."

by deliverer of babys January 16, 2011

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Crying while masterbating

The depressive state where your hunger for vagina overshadows your temporary sadness. This state often results in the victim masterbating over violent porn, using his own tears as lubricant as desperate howls of anguish escape his lips.

B.A. was crying while masterbating after someone paid out his altezza tail lights the other night.

by Anal ejaculator January 12, 2012

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Masturhating

The act of hating things that no one else cares about alone. Repeatedly.

"Julie has been masturhating like mad! She bitches constantly about hating her boss, but no one else gives a fuck."

by adrug December 27, 2007

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masturbating

Having sex with your own hand or even using a fake dick (dildo) in the case of girls (or very messed up guys)... its very pathetic.

John is masturbating every night because he has no hope of ever having actual sex.

by CanHasHaxx February 5, 2009

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ego masturbating

verb, intransitive The act of looking up oneself's first name on urbandictionary in an attempt to produce an ego high by reading the overflow of entries made by other people complementing their boyfriend or girlfriend. Those who exhibit this phenomenon typically have a forever alone relationship status, do not receive complements from family and friends, or, if done in the company of others, are being attention whores.

Olive: Hey look, guys! I looked up my name on urbandictionary, look at all the nice things people have said about me!

Joe: Shut the fuck up, you ego masturbating attention whore.

by didnotstealhisbike July 25, 2011

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