status masterbation

A facebook, twitter, or other social media status update that serves only for the psychosocial gratification of the poster, not unlike sexual masterbation.

-Did you see Lisa's most recent facebook status update about how happy she is with her life and how thankful she is for everyone?

-Yeah, I did, and I can't stop reading it. I have such a fetish for reading status masterbation.

by andmybow February 20, 2014

masterbatorio

Someone who pulls their pud more than four times a day.

Lucas is such a masterbatorio, he never leaves his room

by B Mo D March 28, 2008

masterbate

guy: when you rub the shaft of your penis untl you orgasm.
(sometimes requires the use of lubricants)
(not reccomended to exceed three times each day)

girls: use of fingers to touch the clitoris
(sometimes requires the use of a vibrator)

andrew uses the fleshlight to masterbate.

by supersimon June 11, 2006

masterbate til bleedage

1. To masterbate so terrible hard, and/or hard, that the edge of your penis begins to bleed, and, soon enough, the bleeding spreads to your whole penis, causing it to hurt to urinate, orgasam or do whatever you do with it for the next 3 days.

Oh god, last night, Chris said he was jacking off so hard, he started to bleed...says it hurts to piss now...

by dcshoekid1 April 14, 2005

masterbateing

fishing bait, mixture of corned beef and bread made into a paste.

"good god you'v had loads of fish today mate" "thats because i've been masterbateing"

by w&f January 18, 2009

Masterbationist

The act of one human alone frequetly masterbating nonstop.

Jon Marshall is a frquent masterbationist to good house keeping.

by Phillis Dickinme February 1, 2010

Brain-Masterbation

Telling yourself you're right while ignoring actual facts.

In his delusional state, Cambo prefered his Brain-Masterbation and was completely unaware of the actual fact that he was sitting in a burning house.

by Card_Sultan May 14, 2015