Crumpet

Word to describe/classify your stereotypical British fucks, who are incredibly annoying, narcissistic, and like to kiss ass. They're the type of people to eat incredibly flavorless food like un-buttered stale crumpets or scones that just tastes like flour, living up to the stereotype that white people have flavorless food. They also use incredibly annoying vocabulary and like to pick on other people a lot. A disgrace to the entire British nation.

Example:

A: Hey did hear what Elizabeth said in class?
B: I know she's such a fucking scone.

Or..

A: THIS FUCKING CRUMPET KEEPS TRYING TO GET ME INTO TROUBLE
B: I have a fair share of scones in my class too don't worry about it...

by greasy krispey and sexy May 24, 2018

Crumpet fucker

A slurr to use against the British

Get some braces you crumpet fucker

by Jack sparky October 21, 2023

penis crumpet

Penis Crumpet:
When one ejaculates from their erect penis so hard, it shrivels and flattens. This will only occur when overstimulation takes place, after many orgasms.

“I came so hard, now I have a penis crumpet”
“Maybe you should go to a doctor, Jim.”

by Dr. Digbick September 29, 2018

Humpin' the crumpet

1. Light-hearted joking
2. Lube-less anal sex
Closest synonym: joshin'

Don't get offended, bro. I was just humpin' the crumpet.

I didn't mean to kill your mom - I was humpin' her crumpet and my dick stabbed all the way through.

by thescholar(i read dostoyevsky) December 16, 2018

Strumpet Crumpet

Strumpet Crumpet A hottie and great in bed

That Strumpet Crumpet is hot and sexy

by VileGay September 20, 2023

Crumpets and tea

Crumpets and tea is a British food, usually eaten for breakfast or afternoon paired with tea often. It is made from flour, milk or water and yeast.

Friend 1: Hey bruv you wanna come over and have some crumpets and tea mate?

Friend 2: what kind of bloody question is that? Of course I do!

by sex minister April 26, 2022

swedish crumpet

a swedish crumpet is when you fart on someone’s food and then make them eat it. similar to a dutch oven, but replace the face with their food. often performed as a revenge ritual against a friend that wronged you, this move is taken stealthily in secret but there’s no doubt the enemy won’t notice the difference as soon as they chow down.

term coined by gizem bektas DJ and journalist.

A: Oh My God, Felix pulled a swedish crumpet on my ikea meatballs yesterday.
B: No way… was the aroma pungent? I haven’t done one of those in years.
A: It lit my taste buds and nose on fire..

by gizemtheDJ January 8, 2025