Crumpet muffin

The thing kids say to be cool instead of saying mother fucker.

You crumpet muffin!

by Yolo beast yolo loo April 24, 2014

crumpet burner

Someone who makes it their main purpose to ruin the fun for everyone else.

Look at that crumpet burner pop that kids balloon

by Toshir0z January 12, 2015

krinkle your crumpet

Masturbating underwater. Usually referring to underwater female-masturbation, but not exclusive to females.

Jane spent so long krinkling her crumpet in the bath her cunt was pruney.

Don't krinkle your crumpets in the bath! I have to take showers in that tub!!!

by lyla1315 February 3, 2015

Toasting the crumpets

The act of finger poppin another mans ass hole with the doors locked and the lights off

Aye! Are you in there toasting the crumpets with another man?

by Hans00 August 1, 2015

crumpet dodger

A man who avoids women; typically because he is a homosexual.

"Hey Jamie, you massive crumpet dodger"

by Joni-K July 6, 2016

tea & crumpets

something gingers eat for lunch

oh those tea & crumpets look nice

by GrannyNorma21 July 19, 2017

Donald Crumpet

Any depressing fact about Donald Trump that you must digest.

How many Donald Crumpets are in one newspaper?

by Ereck Flowers October 23, 2018