Turtle poaching

When you punch someone who has a small penis in the dick making there head shrivel like a turtle.
Payton: i got turtle poached by some guy yesterday
thomas: omg is yo dick okay i hate turtle poaching
by Arnold mcjagger May 31, 2013
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Laundry turtle

Noun. When you fill a laundry basket way over the top, then drape a towel over the pile and tuck it into the sides of the basket so nothing will fall out while carrying. The result resembles a turtle shell, and sometimes it will have little 'legs' of laundry items sticking out of holes in the basket.
I waited too long to do laundry, now im definitely gonna have to make a laundry turtle
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Snapping turtle

Sex position, involves having sex with only the protruding head of a turtle (usually of the snapping variety). Bonus points if the shell vibrates.
Abby: Dude why are you bleeding like that

Kate: I tried the snapping turtle at the lake and it didn’t go well
by Lakelesbos69 August 31, 2021
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Snapping Turtle

A clamp or clip tightened around the testicles.
Mike: No way! John has a Snapping Turtle!
John: What the fuck is that?
by RuggerBuggerBuggyBumpers August 31, 2023
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turtle choker

Her: Ugh... you're using a turtle choker?!
Me: Yeah, thot
by Tree Mugger November 17, 2019
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punch the turtle

To attempt something that does have a small chance of success - but will likely end in failure and pain.
Did you hear how Josh and Christel are trying to create new slang? They're trying to punch the turtle with that...
by JBonesMcGee March 30, 2019
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thirsty turtle

(n.) term used to describe chinless, humanoid species found in Northern Louisiana. usually female, these creatures resemble a turtle who lost her shell. Despite her FAS features, she will be full of an ignorant, white trash pride and sense of superiority, which will make her feel entitled and desires among a group of male peers who would stick in a dead dog so long as it was still warm.
I can't believe Maria Elena Cimino is working here again but she is a thirsty turtle for those auto-sales managers.
by firecracker4u March 13, 2017
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