sloppy john

An absolutely atrociously given hand job.

She came back to my place afterwards, but we didn't even fuck—all I got was a sloppy john and an Indian burn.

by IHaveNothingCleverToSay January 25, 2018

John Wayned

John Wayned is when she has been done so hard she is walking like a cowboy that's just spent three months out on the trail on the worlds biggest saddle!

Q: "Hey Stacey, why are you walking like that? "

A: "Mat John Wayned me last night!"

by D3adsy182 January 28, 2017

Long john

A very looooonnngggg turd

“Omg! Did you blow up the bowl and then leave a long John?!”
“Sorry mother”

by Ipeedonthecat October 17, 2019

John Osborne

A bald nonce that is too old to cum, he also has a gay son

John osborne: Hey, your dad John is a nonce *slaps head*

by BettySchwallocks October 18, 2019

John-positive

characterized by or displaying around 70 percent certainty.

Person 1: Looks like there's some traffic up ahead. Are you sure we'll make it in time?
Person 2: Pssh! I'm John-positive we will.

by Rupert Shackleton Jr. Sr. October 26, 2019

John Smith'd

To find a native woman and take her back to your home and put a baby in her.

Did you hear Ryan got married?

Yeah I heard he John Smith'd her, so she had to stay with him.

by BearySanders December 3, 2020

John Cena

Someone you can't see

Adam: Look at this picture i got with John Cena!

James: I can't see anyone?..

by John Cena's Manager December 8, 2020