Wanking off a Smurf

When people have blue hands which have been dyed with ink, paint etc they are said to have wanked off a smurf.

Why are your hands blue? Have you been wanking off a smurf or something?

by thanksthatsastupidsuggestion March 7, 2021

Wanking my Willy

a male masturbating

"I'm wanking my willy to your moms big tits"

by cumshotter June 27, 2022

Houdini bag wank

When one places themselves in a hold-all, zips it up and secures with a padlock. Once secured in the bag, you wank yourself into oblivion and finally try to escape.

Sorry I’m late for work boss, I decided to try a Houdini bag wank this morning.

by Jim’ll fist it February 11, 2023

yank my wank

To masturbate

1. You almost done?
2. Yeah, but first i gotta yank my wank

by Golf swinger on the daily December 15, 2016

Isaac Newton Wank

The act of wanking upside down for the objective of giving yourself a facial. The jizz acts like the Apple falling from the tree, gravity takes it course and hits the participant in the cranial area.

I had an Isaac Newton wank last night, glazed myself like a doughnut

by McLoopster August 20, 2018

Wank team 6

When you are sleeping next to a loves one and you need to run one out, you roll over to one side and masturbate undetected.

Oh man, last night I had to sleep with me mum. I had to call in Wank team 6 and everything.

by Dyank MeyMeys December 21, 2016

utter wank stain

The worst sort of cunt. Someone who acts like a dick all the time.

That guy rick is an utter wank stain.

by Sheggles2point0 April 22, 2018