At first I wasn't too fond of Becky's sea captains but, I'm beginning to cum around. Plus the definition in those lats is crazy!
by The lonely tanker June 11, 2020
Get the Sea captain mug.A half-functioning fishing captain powered by nicotine, meth, and pure coastal paranoia. Captain Crank is the guy screaming about government satellites while freebasing off tin foil in the engine room of a rusted-out commercial boat—or chain-smoking through a guided trip while cussing at seagulls and mumbling about “the deep state tracking red snapper migrations.”
Not to be confused with an old salty dog—Captain Crank isn’t wise, he’s wired. You’ll know him by the jerky hand movements, a permanent squint (either from sun damage or sleep deprivation), and the overwhelming scent of bait, diesel, and regret.
Spotting Characteristics:
- Yellowed mustache from years of inhaling tinfoil smoke
- Boat held together by zip ties, duct tape, and spite
- Knows exactly where the fish are… but won’t tell you unless you “wake up to what’s really going on”
- Listens exclusively to ham radio frequencies and Joe Rogan clips from 2016
- Will fight you and the harbor patrol if you touch his bait cooler
Common Habitats:
- Commercial fishing boats with suspicious burn marks near the bilge
- Charter docks where someone just got fired or disappeared
- VFW bars with broken pool tables
- Forums arguing that fish finders are government mind-control devices
Not to be confused with an old salty dog—Captain Crank isn’t wise, he’s wired. You’ll know him by the jerky hand movements, a permanent squint (either from sun damage or sleep deprivation), and the overwhelming scent of bait, diesel, and regret.
Spotting Characteristics:
- Yellowed mustache from years of inhaling tinfoil smoke
- Boat held together by zip ties, duct tape, and spite
- Knows exactly where the fish are… but won’t tell you unless you “wake up to what’s really going on”
- Listens exclusively to ham radio frequencies and Joe Rogan clips from 2016
- Will fight you and the harbor patrol if you touch his bait cooler
Common Habitats:
- Commercial fishing boats with suspicious burn marks near the bilge
- Charter docks where someone just got fired or disappeared
- VFW bars with broken pool tables
- Forums arguing that fish finders are government mind-control devices
“We thought he was just passionate… until Captain Crank started yelling about fluoride in the chum.”
“Captain Crank brought us to the fish, but also brought a .38 and a full-blown manifesto.”
“If you smell burnt foil and hear something about ‘the government stealing our swordfish,’ turn around—that’s a Captain Crank.”
“He didn’t use sonar. He said he ‘felt the vibrations in his fillings.’ I’m never chartering with Captain Crank again.”
“Captain Crank brought us to the fish, but also brought a .38 and a full-blown manifesto.”
“If you smell burnt foil and hear something about ‘the government stealing our swordfish,’ turn around—that’s a Captain Crank.”
“He didn’t use sonar. He said he ‘felt the vibrations in his fillings.’ I’m never chartering with Captain Crank again.”
by Pary Moppins August 3, 2025
Get the Captain Crank mug.by BigDickCockSucker69 October 9, 2015
Get the Captain Hooker mug.the man who made our cause that is just (grugang) the legend himself and friend of Alphard. his legions generals include Dr.Donk Ryuji red sent and Marcus
by dracon56 November 12, 2020
Get the captain kidd mug.Its a superhero from a comic, little reminiscent of "Captain America" with a rim instead of a shield. Captain A.Muurikka is an outdoor enthusiast and also got a sidekick called Thruster.
Look! Up in the sky! A plane!
-Its a star!
-It is definitely a sandwich.
-Haha no, its just Captain A.Muurikka saving the world!
-Its a star!
-It is definitely a sandwich.
-Haha no, its just Captain A.Muurikka saving the world!
by Young Thruster no2 October 13, 2020
Get the Captain A.Muurikka mug.by Fuckfuckcucumber October 12, 2015
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Get the captain save a hoe mug.