Read the Zoom

Feeling out the Zoom Room

When everyone is shooting up but you’re smoking the horse. Turn your fucken mute off. Read the Zoom, mate

by Bangus Khan October 17, 2020

Zoom Suit

When you have nothing on from the waste down while attending an online zoom meeting. You could be wearing a button up with a tie for instance and have your balls dangling. All good though. The camera can’t see it and you look classy and dialed in as far as the viewers are concerned

Man....these zoom meetings are getting old. Thank god I just go with the zoom suit. Makes the whole work day a lot more tolerable.

by Z rocket May 19, 2021

Zoom University

Because of the COVID pandemic in 2020, all schools switched over to a business meeting app called "Zoom" to teach. Note that the app also lets you turn off your camera, microphone, and 90% of the time the teacher doesn't give a shit what you're doing anyways. This was CLEARLY a great idea.

Grandma: How was school, sonny?
Graduate: I'm glad I learned nothing this year on Zoom University!

by I'm better off Dead September 14, 2020

Zoom Fart

A Zoom Fart occurs when a person farts loudly on a Zoom videoconference. It can be particularly embarrassing if the person is not muted at the time. If the person is not muted, they will be unable to deny responsibility for the fart because the fart could be so loud that the camera will automatically go to that person’s face.

Balthazar could not deny the tremendous fart he blew during the Q4 earnings call for his job because he blew a Zoom Fart and was not muted at the time. The camera immediately turned to his guilty face.

by Tony Splagola November 2, 2020

Zoom Shits

The immediate urge to take a massive shit the minute your zoom lecture starts. This phenomenon may occur early, keeping you from attending class because of your shitting.

I can’t believe i missed my philosophies lecture today because i got the Zoom Shits

by TangSlave September 17, 2020

zoom out

look at the bigger picture. a wider perspective is needed - it's currently too narrow

nevermind the technology we're going to use. zoom out - what is this piece going to say?

by cameraman mario May 23, 2001

Pinch and Zoom

When you take a shit of catastrophic proportions (clog the john, splash the walls, destroy the ozone, etc.) at a public place (friend's house, mother-in-law, church, etc.) and you have to make a hasty getaway before anyone calls you out.

I was at my boss' house last night and I had a bad case of diarrhea so i just had to Pinch and Zoom.

by VMSTRETCH June 1, 2011