schlong-goggles

Much the same as beer goggles, though no alcohol is required; i.e the man's schlong makes a terrible, terrible decision about a girl best left alone. The brain is hardly involved, if at all.

This may occur after many months of sexual frustration, or simply if he is a slag.

verb; to schlong-goggle

"jesus tom, what were you thinking?"
"i don't know man, i definitely had my schlong-goggles on"

"however hard tom tried, he simply could not remove the schlong-goggles from his eyes"

by rural_dictionater January 12, 2010

schlongness monster

A penis so large, that it is often thought of as a myth. While it exists, few have seen the schlongness monster released.

Sara said that when mike pulled out his penis it was so big, that she thought it was the lochness monster. He shouted, its the schlongness monster, then knocked her in the face with it.

by mexicanmike03 December 10, 2013

Kong Schlong

A cheap yet powerful energy drink sold by the European supermarket chain Lidl, it goes by the name of Kong Strong. Tastes like the oil you just drained out of your engine after a 100,000 mile road trip, mixed in with some low quality cocaine and blackcurrant flavouring. Do be careful however as this is not one substance you want to mess with. Drink too many and you'll find yourself shirtless, with your huge belly hanging out as you're nearing death on the bathroom floor of an Amsterdam Hotel. This drink literally makes you feel as though King Kong has done you nicely with his Schlong. So take care with the Kong, or you'll get the Schlong.

Hey man, have you tried some of this Kong Strong?

Are you stupid? Do you want to feel the Kong Schlong?

Oh jeez, I guess you're right.

by DonLykeB March 18, 2019

schlong sling

Underwear for males that cradles their schlongs, much to the disgust of the people around them; a banana hammock.

That old man is still trying to show off his junk in a schlong sling.

by anonymous purple August 13, 2018

schlong gobbled

Eager to provide oral service to a cock(s).

Not stopping until all parties involved are satisfied

I sure schlong gobbled that redneck cowboy last night.

by Throbbin_Rob November 9, 2019

Schlong Sack

When your nut sack is longer than your your asshole after Ant Man expanded in it.

I have a schlong sack

by TheCommunistNugget April 25, 2019

Schlong Shot

Like a dick pic only schlonger.

I always have mixed feelings about unsolicested schlong shots. On the one hand, Ew, on the other hand... dayum!

Nick asked me to send nudes last night, but I made him send me a schlong shot first!

by Kinn Notap May 21, 2017