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Nutsacraments

Sexually redemptive tenets laid out by Lord Anaconda The Whip, possessor of "The Wand of Forgiveness"

1) Woman, thou shalt suckle hungrily upon thy man's rigid cock, as if it were thy only source of nourishment.

2) Woman, thou shalt be attentive to the balls, lest they grow cold and melacholy.

3) Woman, though shalt pump the shaft with thy hand as with thy lotion bottle when very nearly empty.

4. Woman, when thy lover's cock spasms and erupts the nourishing, nectarous, pearly white cum to annoint thy face and mouth, thou shalt gulp it down eagerly, as an old alcoholic woman gulps Bailey's Irish Cream...for therein lay your salvation!

5. Woman, thou shalt gently kiss and lick thy lover's cock as it shrinks flacidly--for to suck vigorously as before is likely to tickle the sensitive, shrinking pipe-organ.

6. Woman, when engulfing the shaft with thine seething pussy, though shalt moan as if thou art being split in twain with it's massive orgasm-inducing prowess, and then whimper as if helpless before it's mighty shaft.

7. Woman, thou shalt eagerly offer thy lover butthole pleasures, the sooner after beginning dating, the better, that the alluringly forbidden backdoor loving not become an unmentionable taboo. Verily, no condom must bar the way, for the hot nutmilk to penetrate deeply into thine ass, for your pleasure.

"THESE ARE THE SEVEN NUTSACRAMENTS I HAVE GIVEN THEE TO HEED AND EMBODY, IN FULFILLMENT OF THE PROPHECY!!!" - Lord Anaconda The Whip
"I heard you hit that last night, was she any good?"

"SHE WAS PHENOMENAL...the best I've ever had...she observed ALL SEVEN OF THE NUTSACRAMENTS!!!"

"ALL SEVEN?!? Praise be to Lord Anaconda The Whip!!!"

PRAISE BE!!!
by High Priest Salam December 4, 2010
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nutsacker

a person that likes to touch other men's ballsacks
Youre such a little nutsacker, trying to feel me up.
by icecoldteabagger April 8, 2008
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nutsackular

Of or pertaining to the testicular region of the human male.
While playing football, my son accidentally kicked me in the nutsackular area.
by pfnk October 21, 2008
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New Zealand nut sack

When a bag of nuts, preferably from New Zealand, is hurled at your nuts at a sickening speed, causing you to drop to your knees while simultaneously grabbing your testicles and screaming profanity.
Did you see yesterday when I threw that New Zealand nut sack directly at that guys nut sack. He fell to ground cursing his ass off and he was holding his nuts for five minutes.
by Slimmy Meerkat December 3, 2013
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Nutshack

An awful cartoon, later on becoming a meme, thanks to SiivaGunner using the theme into his high quality-rips.
"It's. The. NutShack. It's. The. NutShack."
by Coolskeleton01 September 4, 2016
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Nutsucker Pussypucker

A strong alcoholic beverage made with a combination of Everclear, Vodka, Triple Sec, Wild Berry Schnapps, and Boonsfarm Hawaiian Punch mixed with pineapple juice, V8 Splash and Fruit Drink. Beverage should be mixed in a 5 gallon mop bucket and garnished with sliced apples and oranges. Serve with Ice.

This drink is so delicious that it feels like you are getting your nuts sucked by a second class ho, however, it is so strong, your mouth puckers like a contracted vagina.
Nate: "What are we drinking tonight?"
Nick: "Shit nigs! I just made me some nutsucker pussypucker!"
Nate: "Hell yea! I'll call out sick now for tomorrow morning!"
by blacknwhiteorca May 16, 2009
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Nutsake

(verb) to hurl, throw, or slam an object into a wall, the ground or another solid body. Usually an outburst of rage.
Gavin nutsaked his little sister against a wall when she stole the TV remote.
by The ganjaman August 6, 2011
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