Microsoft Windows

A decent OS with the most versatility of all OSes. Seriously. This thing can run just about any program and/or application.

Let's go on to debunking common misconceptions about Windows...

1. "Windows crashes like every 5 seconds!!1!1OMG another blue screen!"

While Windows does crash, the amount of times it does and how often is usually dependent on many other factors, those factors involving how much people actually take care of their computers.

Since most people don't know how to simple things like defragment their hard drives every once in awhile, and not open every e-mail attachment they get, it's no wonder people have their computers crash all the time.

Out of the approximate 8 years that I've been using a computer running Windows, I have only gotten the BSoD twice. Twice. And they were both due to me running too many applications over night, anyway. Thank God it did too. I probably would've fried my HDD from the constant strain I was stupidly putting on the CPU.

Take care of your computer, and you don't get crashes. Simple as that.

2 "I'm always getting viruses!!11! Windows always gets viruses!11!! You need to have antivirus stuff!!!!1111!1one1"

Two things:

Common sense (don't download and open every .exe application you see, you dolt. One of the many things people do.)

Windows has a majority of the market share, making it a prime target for malware writers.

Done.

3. "Windows security is a joke! So it's so easy to hack!!11!"

Only here will I give you compensation. Yes, Windows security is pretty bad.

But guess what? An IT tech friend of mine said that a Macintosh would take about a few minutes to hack into, and Linux would take about the same amount of time.

I bet no one ever considered the security of alternate operating systems besides Windows, because they're all pretty bad by themselves.

He even showed me how. And this friend is certified in computer security, so he would know. Stop listening to all that propaganda, people.
I'd love to do more, but I'd spend hours trying to pin point everything.

Microsoft Windows: use it right, and it won't fail you. I'm perfectly fine with the XP OS I've been running for quite some time. It has slowed down a bit from age, but I have never even defragged the hard drive due to memory constraints.
by Mr. Sacman August 15, 2009
Get the Microsoft Windows mug.

Microsoft Edge

The best chrome installer
Yo i use Microsoft Edge. Oh really, yes, to install chrome
by bigbob124 January 27, 2021
Get the Microsoft Edge mug.

microsoft glaze

A notional Microsoft product that is installed on wetware and produces that weird, hypnotic, glassy expression some sheeple get when they praise Microsoft products in the face of adversity.
I was ranting about how fgets made my code segfault on my Linux box when the secretary's Microsoft Glaze kicked in and she started praising Visual C++.
by ke6isf November 07, 2003
Get the microsoft glaze mug.

Microsoft rewards

A very racist rewards site. You can get more points based on which country you are. In America you can get a lot of points. In any other European country other than Germany you get shit
Microsoft rewards is racist
by CookedCat August 07, 2022
Get the Microsoft rewards mug.

microsoft windows

Complete and utter crap.
The biggest piece of shit technology ever invented. Easy to get viruses, breaks down every other second; just absolute shit.
I hate my school for not havin' taught us how to use apple Macintosh instead of piece of shit Microsoft Windows!
by fuckitall June 08, 2006
Get the microsoft windows mug.

microsoft word

The only way the illest mo' fuckas on the planet say "word".
Billy: Yeah he bought the spinach.
Johnny: Oh, microsoft word!
by Max Dish May 23, 2007
Get the microsoft word mug.

Microsoft's Law

With each subsequent release of a product, the chance of failure grows ever closer to 100%, without ever touching 100%, yet.
Non-Techie: Damnit! My fail copy of Windows crashed again. Why does it keep doing this?

Techie: Microsoft's Law, obviously. Just install Windows 95, it'll work much better.
by Shardok GraBug January 11, 2010
Get the Microsoft's Law mug.