table

An inanimate object that James Hetfield of Metallica claims to be.

I AM THE TABLE!

by m3tallic4 October 16, 2012

Table Fucked

At Basic Training where one person at your table eats his or her food so fast that the Drill Sergeant, Military Instructor etc. believes the rest of the people at that table should've had enough time to eat, and makes everyone else at the table get up and go without even finishing their food. This usually results in the people who were at that table disliking that individual because they were "Table Fucked".

"Trainee Doe is done eating already why the hell aren't the rest of you finished!?!? Hydrate and get the piss out!"

Table Fucked Trainees "What the piss Doe, Why'd you table fuck us? We're starving!"

by Demolix October 31, 2011

Dicks On Table

When someone brags about their dick you stand up and shout dicks on table you both unzip your pants and whoever is the biggest wins.

He said he had a big dick so i said dicks on table and won

by qaswe April 29, 2009

Table Troll

The below average beer pong player on the losing team who fails to make one cup during a game of beer pong has to then sit under the table during the next game and drink the winning teams cups until that game is over.

julio: " damn jose u better make a shot! "

rico: " ya man or ur gonna end up being the table troll "

jose: " fuck my life "

by rich$dp June 11, 2008

Table Genie

When playing a poker game, the Table Genie is the person at the table who seems to have all the luck go their way. They hit every flop, make every draw, and continue to get the nuts up against the semi-nuts. They are virtually unstoppable and should be avoided at all costs, else you will end up sitting on the ringside cursing the Table Genie.

Phil: Damn, I just busted out of the tournament when my Pocket Aces got cracked.
Mike: Ouch, what happened?
Phil: The damn Table Genie called me with 72 off suit and flopped a full house.
Table Genie: Owned!!
Phil: ::cries::

by au4040 December 12, 2006

Jesus Table-Making Christ

An exclamation of intense feeling, suitable for both positive or negative circumstances. "Table-Making" is a reference to the popular Christian belief that Jesus was the son of a carpenter, and also a carpenter himself.

"Jesus Table-Making Christ, what's a guy gotta do to give a broad the pickle-tickle in this town!?"

by Drew M. November 28, 2006

Tabletop Bebop

You're so tired your head keeps falling forward. You're able to catch yourself mid-head fall most times, but eventually you smack your face on the table or whatever might be in front of you. IE. Keyboard, plate of food, etc...

Look at Bobby. He's about to do the Tabletop Bebop!

Jim must have had a rough night, he's doing the Tabletop Bebop.

by KforKendetta November 29, 2010