A close relative to the FIGJAM stereotype (“F***, I’m good. Just ask me.”) but this slouch of a human is a recluse, often with potato chip crumbs sprinkled on his pudgy belly. The Armchair Guru won’t choose to dominate conversation by interrupting or speaking over others, instead he will both glorify the profundity of his experiences whilst simultaneously actively discrediting anyone else who he recognizes as a threat to his intellectual cachet in the hierarchical order.
His professed knowledge rests solely on anecdotal evidence with a paltry stockpile of half-finished trinkets that are mounted as a stately exhibit of “Yeah, As you can see it’s pretty impressive but it’s nowhere near as epic as the collection I put together at my last place.”
The Armchair Guru is a toddler with tall tales that are now taken on their word because he has grown a beard.
His professed knowledge rests solely on anecdotal evidence with a paltry stockpile of half-finished trinkets that are mounted as a stately exhibit of “Yeah, As you can see it’s pretty impressive but it’s nowhere near as epic as the collection I put together at my last place.”
The Armchair Guru is a toddler with tall tales that are now taken on their word because he has grown a beard.
I went to Dave’s place to collect the 300 bucks he owes me and this armchair guru reframed the situation into a lecture about how I was acting in my own self interest when I decided to lend him the money. It was made all the more insulting as I could see the bowl of green that he was choofing down was well in excess of what he owed me. So not only did I not get a cent off him, I had to listen to his “Sheeple” this and “Government” that, for like two hours before I realized I was wasting my time by being there.
by FredFredricks January 06, 2025
by namipamiwami December 06, 2022
A person who likes taping Himself and his things. He loves to fuck with albanians, chines, and other immigrates. No one can be more smart, sapient and PORCODDIO than him. He also create the University of Varese.
Do you know someone who can destroy my anus?
oh, fuck yeah, he is a Guru of it. But he does it only if you are an immigrate.
oh, fuck yeah, he is a Guru of it. But he does it only if you are an immigrate.
by PapiLocoMamacita December 01, 2022
by Guru cooper April 26, 2022
by white.shadoow March 18, 2018
The Master of All Arts. This is a person who is often worshipped in friend groups for advice on relationships and life. A person named Guru often has a very successful life ahead of themself filled with fame and money. Gurus have infinite rizz.
by REALOS9876 March 01, 2023