Christmas excuse 

excuse parents use to be extra cheap and stingy

-I need a new hat and don't use the christmas excuse.
-Sorry son, we can't afford to spend anymore money, it was just Christmas.

Christmas excuse by john is my real name December 6, 2009

Bed excuse 

An excuse, (usually a bad excuse) that people use when they cancel on something but actually just want to sleep together.

Ah my boyfriend is tired and wants to go home.
Ah thats just a Bed excuse!

I am so tired tonight... i cant come to the party...sorry
ah, yea your boyfriend said the same... thats a bed excuse girl!

Bed excuse by MakgeoliDaan September 26, 2011

loser excuse 

when the loser find an excuse to blame the winner for winning

you: how did she win our Fantasy Football League and she was the only female in it.
me: because she cheated. her husband who was in the league adjusted her rosters and picked all her players for her on draft day.
winner: I picked my own team and adjusted my rosters every week. that's the ultimate Loser Excuse.

loser excuse by moviestacks December 30, 2013

well excuse me thunderfuck 

well excuse me thunderfuck, can be used as a rare insult, it’ll shock whoever you’re insulting, that’s how rare it’s used. (get it??? shock?? srry, i love a good pun.)

random man in his parents basement: sTaR wArS tHe LaSt JeDi IsN’t StAr WaRs

person reply to said man: well excuse me thunderfuck,,,, but why did it air in theaters if it wAsN’t sTaR wArS ??

well excuse me thunderfuck by wheatleydidntdeserve October 17, 2019

applausible excuse 

An explanation for your failures, so spectacular that even those you have let down will put their hands together.

Asked why there was no quarterly report, the vp replied, with the straightest of faces, that he had been abducted on his way to the office, given a medical exam by aliens aboard their UFO, and that the alien's dog did actually eat all his paperwork, and he was extremely sorry. An applausible excuse, it seemed, as he got a laugh from the CEO, clapping filled the conference room, and was not fired for two weeks.

applausible excuse by Monkey's Dad March 13, 2020

Hammer Excuse Lung and Lies 

Otherwise known as HELL, Hammer Excuse Lung and Lies is a cowardly attempt to escape from obligations by evoking a pretend illness such as Hammer Lung, Black Lung, or Vaginitis.

Wow Dave, you got Hammer Excuse Lung and Lies again and can't take the trash out? OK, hope you feel better bro!

Hammer Excuse Lung and Lies by Ninjaneering February 27, 2023

The Northwest Excuse 

Going past the destination/doing more than asked and thus failing to complete an objective.

Son: Mom, you forgot to pick me up.

Mom: I was on my way, but i ended up going to far and went shopping at the mall.

Son: Oh, you're just using the Northwest Excuse

The Northwest Excuse by Embarassed to be a Pilot November 2, 2009