keep friends close and enemies closer

friends

keep friends close and enemies closer

by Ronnister October 27, 2025

cranking your closet

When a closeted person masturbates to LGBT pornography.

Quit cranking your closet and come out already

by itchygabe December 10, 2025

The Guilt is in the Closet Syndrome

When you buy an article of clothing that, at the time, you "must have" and then end up hanging it up in your closet with the tags still on it and never wearing it. This then results in whenever you look in your closet you feel guilty when you spot that piece of clothing, but yet you still don't want to wear it. One may feel guilt for a number of reasons anything from feeling as if you wasted your money on something you never wear to feeling like you have so much clothes and yet still feel like there is nothing to wear!

Mom-Honey, get dressed it is almost time for school.
Daughter-Mom I can't...
Mom-Look, it isn't that hard all you gotta do is open up you closet door and-
Daughter-No I really CAN'T!
Mom-Why not!?
Daughter-Because...I have the guilt is in the closet syndrome.
Mom-Ooh...I knew you'd never wear that shirt!

by nothing to wear September 22, 2009

tearing the carpet out of the closet

When a queer woman performs oral sex on a straight girl.

I wish I could go on dates with women who know they're into women. Until then I guess I'm just stuck tearing the carpet out of the closet.

by Carpe_Panton March 18, 2017

Wetter Than Two Lesbians In A Broom Closet

an expression used to describe something very wet, of course referring to how two lesbians in a broom closet would probably do such acts as pegging, scissoring, etc.

"Wow. The hurricane sure hit you guys hard. It looks Wetter Than Two Lesbians In A Broom Closet in here."

by JackMasterBater November 9, 2023

first day out of the closet

The gay version remix of the popular song by Tee Grizzley "First Day Out" made by an artist called Kusorare.

first day out of the closet is fire. it be better than the original!

by CookieBeans February 18, 2024

Theory of the Elite Out of the Closet

This theory posits that ruling-class ideology operates in cycles. During periods of stability, the elite maintain hegemony by framing their interests as universal (e.g., "a rising tide lifts all boats"). However, during times of crisis or perceived threat to their power, this narrative collapses, and they enter a phase of "open elitism." In this phase, they abandon universalist language and explicitly argue for policies that create a two-tiered society—luxury for themselves and austerity for everyone else. The "out of the closet" metaphor is apt because it signifies a shift from implicit, structural bias to explicit, rhetorical class warfare from above.

"The Theory of the Elite Out of the Closet explains why we're suddenly hearing arguments for 'golden visas' for the rich while social safety nets are being slashed. It's not a contradiction; it's the elite dropping the pretense of a shared society."

by Dumu The Void March 2, 2026