Captain Jackass

Phrase. Identifying. A individual who always gives "advice" or graces others with there "superior intellect" in a loud annoying way that is common sense(or should be) or has already been stated but now they will say it again in a different tone as if it was never heard or said (short term memory recall), this advice or information is usually given after something has been decided/discussed making the individual feel as though they solved everything and/or nothing would have been decided/done/gained hadnt they "spoken up" these individuals must always have the last word even days later and just a sound; Captain Jackass is not a nick name, this phrase is only use in the type of situation/moment it refers. Traditionally once the individual starts "the thing of it is" speech they are allowed to finish, making this phrase more appropriate as "stupid" doesnt know when to stop once they are pleased with themselves (or youve had enough)give them eye contact and firmly state "THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!!" Adding a "WELL" in front of the phrase to interrupt is optional; Hopefully there is room for reinforcing/retraining the simple minded brain that the knowledge they DO have is basic at best n adults are talking now, If not you have just learn a wonderful new phrase thats perfect when used properly every time!
1: Did you know if you stand in the road you could get hit by a car?.....Yah i know

2: WELL THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!! You are a true asset to mankind......scholar to your peers n such ...
1: What ... Captain peers, like captain Malibu honey ...dbdjf....ddfd.. yah i drink that..
2: You want me to hit you with the newspaper again .... ima get it ...

1: Iam going to the bank in the moring because they are closed after 12pm and I n....
*LOUD INTERRUPTING STUPIDITY*
2: You should go to the bank 1st in the morning remeber they close at 12pm and yo....THE THING OF IT IS my sisters brothers half dogs cusin pet trees gmas worked at the bank makr short story long now they owe me money so they say if you give me your money then ill givejz fieobdbdjrvjfndbwhdjdktnfj dd fkd and ..
3: *WITH THE ASSIST* THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS! WE GOT IT !!

1: Thanks bruh I couldnt take it all that gibberish....its like she making words with ABC magnets ...but THEY JUST BANANA STICKERS! .... i owe you

3: Yep ..you sure do sir ..sure do....Ill add it to your BroTab
2: *Talking to self* Oh uh PEE...Thats what i had ment to say i gottda dpeiplldbdbh....
by ScreenDoor-Junkie July 06, 2022
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captain carlos

This man will fuck anything! He doesnt produce babies he shits them out eats them agin and jizzes them out!
gay ass man-hes such a savage!
Hot asss bitch- no hes a captain carlos with a big fat black dick
by Fuckboi sucks good December 15, 2015
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Road Captain's Favour

The promise of oral sex while driving, as repayment for money or favours previously provided.
The promise usually goes unfulfilled, as does the person who is owed.
Bawwy: "Just give me the money. I'll owe you a Road Captain's Favour"
Pez: "Fine, I'll give you the money."
by thegoatofwisdom June 18, 2021
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Captain Chromosome

Someone who is acting like a 2 year old on speed
Look out is Captain Chromosome
by Gamingman November 01, 2021
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The Captain Jack Sparrow

Much like "The Houddini", during intercourse the male should spit on her back to create the impression of him being "finished", then when she turns round he spunks in her eye. From this, he should then kick her like as to ensure that she is covering one eye whilst simultaneously hopping and yelling "aaargh", much like a pirate.
She well got The Captain Jack Sparrow last night.
She cried
by Steve the Pirate 999 April 17, 2014
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Paper Captain

Choker captain / Paper captain is non other than kohli,because he always chokes in important matches as both batsman and as well as captain,but his clueless fans always defends him with bilateral winning percentage ,though he is a paytm winner he always plays for personal records rather than team's win and he failed completely as acaptain for rcb without a trophy after he done 9 years captaincy but couldn't win a single trophy yet, and rcb also rarely qualify for playoffs under his Captaincy he is the perfect man suitable for choker captain

Even he couldn't better competitive infront of Minnow Intl captains, as a Captain he Just attends bcci board meeting with Drinker Shastri
by Rohitian RO November 23, 2020
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Im the captain now

when you cum in her eyes and kick her legs in then shout I'm the captain now
Oi bitch im the captain nowwwwww
by africanman69 December 27, 2020
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