Jesus card 

A card in a trading card game that can turn the tide of the game when topdecked.
examples:
pokemon-professor oak, good manners
yugioh- soul charge, raigeki

"i was totally about to win but then he pulled some fucking jesus card, demolished my board, and attacked for game."

Jesus card by DreadCommander June 4, 2017

Jesus-kun 

The hottest discord user. AKA jesus-kun#1105

Jesus-kun is bae!!!

Jesus-kun by spoopi November 19, 2020

jesus feet 

To have feet in such bad shape to resemble being nailed to a cross. Usually followed by bloody trails pertruding from open sores in the foot area.

Ken are you ok man? You got a nasty case of Jesus feet there. No dont jump in my pool ok.

jesus feet by Mike Bruce October 3, 2005

Jesus Christ 

a fictional character

Jesus Christ is full of shit

Jesus Christ by beinggayisachoice November 26, 2017

jesus bomb

The best damn kind of bomb there is

jesus bomb by Mike Truitt August 21, 2006

Jesus Christ 

A sexual act. While having missionary sex, a man kisses a women's neck so she tilts her head. Then he holds her arms out the side and pulls out. Then he penetrates her belly button. This leaves her in state of shock arms to the side, stomach bleeding like Jesus on the cross.

I was having sex with a nun and she asked what it would be like to meet God? I said I don't know but I showed her Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ by Steriodsmademydicksmall October 28, 2008

Jesus Eyes

What you see when you sniff sharpie markers (As per Dane Cook)

But the black one always smelt like an asshole didn't it ... I can't stop guys, I can't. I just saw Jesus eyes! The marker showed me Jesus Eyes!

Jesus Eyes by I Love Bob September 30, 2007