what happens when you assume

you make an ass of Ume

Person 1: Well, I assumed, ok?!
Person 2: You know what happens when you assume...
Person 2: You make an ass out of U and me.
Person 3: Why you gotta be so mean to Ume??
Person 1: Shut the FUC

by unipen January 2, 2023

Sound off when you're done.

In the California prison system when you break one of the rules within' your own car, you get broken off. The first couple of minor offenses result in you being broke off with an additional set of burpees on top of your daily mandatory set. Traditionally upon completion of your daily mandatory set of burpees you will sound off. Meaning you shout a cadence representing your particular group. That being said, when you break a rule that requires you to be broken off, nobody tells you what they think you did, there is no arguing your case. To save time, and breathe whoever is running things for your car just looks at you and says, "sound off when your done."

Inmate X - "I think I got lucky, nobody noticed my bunk wasn't rolled up until after 11:00."

Inmate with the llaves- "sound off when you're done."

Inmate X- "dang."

by LocN9ne January 29, 2023

So...It All Started When You Were 7

AN EASY BUT SHORT WAY TO SPEED UP THE PROGRESS OF A STORY. (If you get punched, I am not responsible for your well-being)

BEING 1: SO WHAT HAD HAPPEN WAS...
BEING 2: So...It All Started When You Were 7...OKAY GET TO THE GOOD PART.

by LyNx00 October 18, 2022

Time flies when you're having fun

What happens when Yv and Nest make a catch-up call

After months without a word, They spent 2:34 hours catching up. Time flies when you're having fun.

by Tibicena May 12, 2023

I'll snuggle you when you get back

What you tell your sweetie as a "bribe" for his groaningly getting out of da warm comfy bed to perform some trivial task for you.

Hot chick: Honey, did you plug in my cell-phone charger before we went to bed?
Weary dude: Ummmm --- I don't recall.
Hot chick: Well, could you possibly go and check?
Weary dude: Ohhhhhhh... honeeeyyyyy... do I really haaaaaaave to?!?? I'm dead-tired, and I just now FINALLY got comfortable and warmed up!
Hot chick (apologetically): I know, darling, and I am so sorry to ask you --- how 'bout this --- I'll snuggle you when you get back, so that you'll get warmed up again quicker.
Weary dude: Uhhhhh... oh, all RIGHT, Sugar-Plum --- since you put it THAT way. You really know the magic words to bribe me, don't you?

by QuacksO December 10, 2023

That's what your mom said when you were born

You say this when someone insults you.

"You're gay and retarded!"
"That's what your mom said when you were born."

by maxico February 7, 2020

It's hard to give a shit when you don't.

When thou does not give a single fucketh about your opinion.

Nick Valenzuela has stated it's hard to give a shit when you don't.

by NickolesValenzuela March 23, 2022