(Rick): {dialing telephone}: beep beep boop beep boop boop beep
{ring...ring...ring...}
(Rick's boss): Hello, this is National Plastics Conglomerate, how may I help you?
(Rick): Hey boss, can't come in today. Got coffee penus and I'd never make the 40-minute commute without pissing all over myself.
(Rick's boss): YOU'RE FIRED!!! ***CLICK!!!***
{ring...ring...ring...}
(Rick's boss): Hello, this is National Plastics Conglomerate, how may I help you?
(Rick): Hey boss, can't come in today. Got coffee penus and I'd never make the 40-minute commute without pissing all over myself.
(Rick's boss): YOU'RE FIRED!!! ***CLICK!!!***
by Telephony June 02, 2011
Somebody who is proud of his/her (usually her) 'addiction' to coffee; somebody who never shuts up about how much he/she needs coffee to function, as if it's a quirky personality trait, or a hobby, or just something to make her seem like an interesting human being.
Usually a fan of Starbucks or some other shitty chain café; usually takes a particular type of coffee (Latté, Mocha, (worst of all) Frappuccino) and tells everybody that it's "all I ever drink."
Usually a fan of Starbucks or some other shitty chain café; usually takes a particular type of coffee (Latté, Mocha, (worst of all) Frappuccino) and tells everybody that it's "all I ever drink."
"I've got to have a cup of coffee, I can't start the day without one! I can't do anything until I've had my macchiato! I can't help it, it's just who I am!"
"Shut the fuck up, you Coffee Cunt"
"Shut the fuck up, you Coffee Cunt"
by CatCity November 12, 2011
Hello hello try sloppy coffee really good yum big dick and pussy coffee sloppy coffee try it try it buy it fucking drink fucking fucking coffee
by Fuck fucking fuck fucking fuck October 03, 2021
Coffee joint is like a joint, except it's for coffee. You roll a piece of paper and light the joint then light the stove with it. You then proceed to make coffee in a stovetop espresso maker. Coffee is not possible without the coffee joint.
I lit the stove with the coffee joint, then I made coffee in the stovetop espresso maker.
Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee!
Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee!
by HawaiianPunch1 April 30, 2020
A selfish person who sneaks a cup of coffee before the brewing cycle is complete thus causing the finished brew to be weak and bitter.
Worse yet is when mutiple Coffee Felchers team up to make the final brew undrinkable.
In History:During the Battle of the Alamo a feral Mexican wolfboy known only as the Chupacafe was sent into the Alamo by President General Antonio López de Santa Anna wherein he would coffee felch from the American defenders' morning coffee thusly disheartening those brave Texans.
It is theorized that all Coffee Felchers are the genetic offspring of this feral Chupacafe and a woman named Irene.
Worse yet is when mutiple Coffee Felchers team up to make the final brew undrinkable.
In History:During the Battle of the Alamo a feral Mexican wolfboy known only as the Chupacafe was sent into the Alamo by President General Antonio López de Santa Anna wherein he would coffee felch from the American defenders' morning coffee thusly disheartening those brave Texans.
It is theorized that all Coffee Felchers are the genetic offspring of this feral Chupacafe and a woman named Irene.
by Dr.Cyclopz December 10, 2011
when you drink a lot of coffee on an empty stomach, and then in about an hour or so you have to shit
Yo dude, i went to dunkies this morning, had a few medium regulars, and then all throughout the day i had the coffee shits
by MSHiggins December 10, 2008
by Feona hellcatt July 26, 2017