rectal numbers

The term used when you have no choice but to pull numbers out of your ass.

Tom wanted a company-wide inventory report broken down by site, categorized by department, and sorted by date, time, and calculated return on investment divided by the square root of 2,496. And he wanted it done by lunch. So I just pulled some rectal numbers and sent it to him.

by MikeBinIL November 15, 2010

Rectal Rover

1. One who engages in the act of roving in someones anus, usually with the use of their pork sword.
2. Slang term for the instuments used in a proctologists office

1. "Man, last night I fucked your mom in the ass. I roved around in her rectum for three hours!"
2. "Did you see the assortment of rectal rovers that fucker wanted to feed up my grease pipe?"

by Doctor Bong May 15, 2006

rectal shpritz

The unwelcome mist that greets you when you sit on a poorly functioning self-flushing toilet that flushes after you sit down instead of when you stand up.

I sat down to drop a few friends in the pool, and got a nasty rectal shpritz.

by agman2 May 7, 2009

Rectal Birth

While I do appreciate free speach, I need to stress the fact that we as Native Americans, or "Injuns" are in fact human to and do infact not give birth out of the ass, ever, under any circomstances. This sort of mindless de-huminization towards us or any minority is a prime example of what is wrong with america today.

To my understanding rectal birth would imply the birth of a thought, that is pulled from ones ass. such as the last entry.

The apparent rectal birth of his last statement left everyone speachless.

by Elise B April 16, 2006

Rectal Smurfobia

The fear of having Smurfs living in your butthole.

Gargamel was afraid to take a dump because of his chronic Rectal Smurfobia.

by PappaSmurfinurAsshole March 28, 2011

rectal toffee

The brown stuff that comes out of your cake hole.

Bob: Hey, i really need a crap!
Joe: Well hurry up dude we dont want rectal toffee everywhere!

by Robbie Harrigan October 20, 2007

Rectal Rain

The act of putting ones anus up to a strainer and then shooting diarrhea through the strainer to give the effect of rain. This maneuver is recommended to do upon the face of a prisoner, a sleeping child, or any other unexpected organism.

I made rectal rain all over my cat.

by j hound September 7, 2010