johnald crump

A version of Donald Trump that has descended into the god realm.

Person 1: My dad is vac he will ban your steam hahahahha enjoy a vaccation idiot.
Person 2: Oh yeah? Well my dad is the great Johnald Crump. He can smite you down in an instant.
Person 1: Oh. Ok.

by Piemann November 17, 2016

crumsting

when youve just done a massive poo and your ass is stinging

ahh i've got a massive crumsting

by yatesy June 21, 2007

Crumpkin

The act of recieving oral sex while deficating (taking a dump) and smoking crack. An evolution of the Blumpkin.

woman 1: I have no idea what to get my husband for his birthday. Any ideas?
woman 2: Why don't you give him a blumpkin?
woman 1: No, no, that will never do. I gave him one of those last year.
woman 3: Well then, how about a Crumpkin?
woman 1: Perfect! Now I just need to get some crack...

by RefinedAndDefined January 10, 2010

Speed Crumpkin

To receive a blow job in a car at high speed while taking a dump in a bed pan, or the seat if you could care less, and smoking crack simaltaneously.

See also blumpkin, crumpkin, and speed blump

Jaeff- "Dude, my GF just gave me a speed crumpkin on the HW, and now i'm gonna need some oxy clean for my car."

Joe- "Wait what does HW stand for?"

Jaeff- "The highway bro, duh."

Joe- "Oh, ha ha ha, you didn't use the bed pan, again?"

by asdfsdfghghkghnytdjathe May 11, 2010

English Crumpet

Pinning somebody down on their back and holding their arms down while another person drops his pants and rubs his anus and testicles on the pinned person's face

"You better back off or we'll give yo ass the English crumpet"

Person 1: "Why is he puking?"

Person 2: "Because that boy just got an English crumpet"

by michelleelala December 5, 2014

crumped

To become very ill quickly or take a deleterious turn for the worse.

Dad was doing fine after his bypass until he crumped last night.

by tho3m January 9, 2010

Mustard Crumpet

Refers to when a man has finished fucking a chick and pulls out his dick, then proceeds to take a dump on her pussy before taking a step back and pissing on it. In doing so resembling a very mustardy crumpet.

The other night Chris accidentally walked in on his sister Steph getting a mustard crumpet from her boyfriend.

by ECMF May 28, 2010