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The Wooden Spoon 

Instead of slapping your partner's ass in bed, you use a wooden spoon and ask him/her why they drank your sake.
"Have you ever tried "the Wooden Spoon"?"

Her: "Oh yeah slap my ass"
Him: *smacks ass with wooden spoon*
Him: "DID YOU DRINK ME SAKE??"

wooden spooners 

1.The team that is the worst team in a sporting competion.
2.A Team that hasnt won a game
3. the team at the bottom of a sporting ladder
The Cronulla sharks are the wooden spooners in the NRL competion this year.

Wooden spoon 

A person can be referred to as a "wooden spoon" when he or she makes it their mission to stir shit left, right and center, usually by spreading lies and false rumours about others.
John: Hey, you seem to be quite upset. What's going on?
Jane: I'm furious. My sister keeps telling lies about me and my boyfriend won't even talk to me.
John: Nah, don't worry about her. She's just a wooden spoon. She'll get what's coming for her when people realise the truth.
Wooden spoon by Bluerain12ya November 25, 2016

wooden spoon 

It is an erection ; or a boner. Usually a wooden spoon would be a pretty long erection, considering wooden spoons are usually about a foot long.
The boy popped a wooden spoon as he watched his neighbors have sex through their bedroom window.
wooden spoon by Ryan J G February 17, 2006

Whacking the chicken with a wooden spoon 

Term used by women to hide the fact that they are masturbating instead of cooking dinner for their kids.
Kid: Mom! I'm hungry!
Mom: It'll be ready soon. I'm whacking the chicken with a wooden spoon.