wooden spooning

The act of spooning but with a boner. Usually done by two people who are friends/lovers.

Not only were we spooning, but we were wooden spooning.

by Dusty Spangler December 1, 2006

Wooden spoon

A person can be referred to as a "wooden spoon" when he or she makes it their mission to stir shit left, right and center, usually by spreading lies and false rumours about others.

John: Hey, you seem to be quite upset. What's going on?
Jane: I'm furious. My sister keeps telling lies about me and my boyfriend won't even talk to me.
John: Nah, don't worry about her. She's just a wooden spoon. She'll get what's coming for her when people realise the truth.

by Bluerain12ya November 25, 2016

wooden spoon

It is an erection ; or a boner. Usually a wooden spoon would be a pretty long erection, considering wooden spoons are usually about a foot long.

The boy popped a wooden spoon as he watched his neighbors have sex through their bedroom window.

by Ryan J G February 17, 2006

Wooden Spoon Award

A wooden spoon is a mock or real award, usually given to an individual or team which has come last in a competition, but sometimes also to runners-up. Examples range from the academic to sporting and more frivolous events. The term is of British origin and has spread to other Commonwealth countries.

I can't believe what a comeback they made they got the Wooden Spoon Award last year"

by Immersion September 28, 2011

Wooden Spoon Speed

Wooden Spoon Speed is the speed at which a child runs at while being persued by said childs enraged parent.

any person can run at wooden spoon speed.

after lil jonny broke the window, he ran at wooden spoon speed to hide under his bed.

by JehovahsWittnessProtectionUnit April 12, 2010

wooden spoon wife

An ugly spouse. The opposite of a trophy wife. From the British tradition of awarding a wooden spoon to someone finishing last in a competition. Something to be ashamed of.

Jim just got married. Is she attractive? No she's a wooden spoon wife

by Jebby3 August 9, 2009

wooden spoon family

an eye for an eye makes the world blind .

p1: ya wooden spoon family

by ... Zjdbckdnznsjd March 12, 2019