by One Two February 6, 2008
Get the Troglodyte Salad mug.A person, typically male and characterized by a low IQ, obsession with sports and a macho or jockish demeanor. The typical ESPN Troglodyte feels an almost primal need to watch hopelessly repetitive ESPN offerings such as Sportscenter. These people subscribe to the ESPN orthodoxy that any and all material displayed on ESPN with the exception of watching an actual game in progress is supremely relevant. These people tend not to understand that most of this material is in effect filler used to fill the void between tidbits of potentially interesting professional sport related news. Any unexpected break in viewing (for instance, changing the channel or momentarily blocking the screen by walking between it and the viewer) will cause the ESPN Troglodyte great discomfort and on occasion will cause the ESPN Troglodyte to lash out verbally or physically.
I went to the gym today, All three TVs were showing Sportscenter. I decided to protect my mind from being turned to mush by changing one to the Science Channel. As soon as I did an ESPN Troglodyte began heaping his abuse on me demanding that I change it back. WTF?
by uuth October 22, 2010
Get the ESPN Troglodyte mug.Related Words
by VW October 23, 2003
Get the troglodyte mug.1). A cave-dweller, someone who lives in a cave.
2). Insult used by Captain Haddock from the Tintin series.
2). Insult used by Captain Haddock from the Tintin series.
1). Don't go in that cave! You might get attacked by the Troglodyte!
2). Blistering Barnacles Tintin! That Yeti was a right old Troglodyte!
2). Blistering Barnacles Tintin! That Yeti was a right old Troglodyte!
by Tunnel Boy! March 9, 2008
Get the Troglodyte mug.A lower-functioning subspecies humanoid that usually inhabits subterranean dwellings, and enjoys frequenting Wal-Mart. They tend to chiefly subsist on some form of government/taxpayer assistance. Also, their young are typically referred to as hatchlings.
"Did you get a load of that troglodyte?! She just tried to buy beer with food stamps...and right in front of her fourteen children (hatchlings)!"
by B-2-tha-G September 3, 2013
Get the Troglodyte mug.1) a hapless gorilla with an IQ of a turnip
2) a cross breed of the mythical troglodyte(daddy o'reilly) and homonculus(mom / sister/ cousin o'reilly)
2) a cross breed of the mythical troglodyte(daddy o'reilly) and homonculus(mom / sister/ cousin o'reilly)
by casseyis May 15, 2008
Get the troglodyte homonculus mug.An inhabitant of text-based open platforms such as Reddit, 4Chan or the Youtube comment section.
Often characterized by their tendency to give unwanted attention, they will attempt to assert dominance by insulting people for innocuous actions, such as playing a popular video game, watching anime, or declaring your allegiance to an online fandom.
In fact, knowledge of internet fandoms causes immense physical pain to the troglodyte, as they often voice their displeasure through increased aggression, autistic screeching, and overuse of the word "cringe."
When they feel safe, they will usually state their opinions as if they were actual facts that everyone agrees with. Citing unreliable sources and relying on an infinitesimal sample size.
Upon confrontation, however, they will state that it was "only an opinion" in an attempt to preserve their status and assert their dominance.
The troglodyte's strength lies in its numbers. If there are enough troglodytes in a group (often called a "tumor"), they can create an echo chamber effect for anyone that has an opposing opinion, resulting in assimilation into their ranks. This is the source of the troglodyte's confidence, as it leads many to believe they have the power to shape reality.
There are many ways to deal with troglodytes, the most reliable being disengagement. You may also attempt discourse with a troglodyte, but their reliance on insults and circular logic makes them difficult to best in a verbal altercation.
Often characterized by their tendency to give unwanted attention, they will attempt to assert dominance by insulting people for innocuous actions, such as playing a popular video game, watching anime, or declaring your allegiance to an online fandom.
In fact, knowledge of internet fandoms causes immense physical pain to the troglodyte, as they often voice their displeasure through increased aggression, autistic screeching, and overuse of the word "cringe."
When they feel safe, they will usually state their opinions as if they were actual facts that everyone agrees with. Citing unreliable sources and relying on an infinitesimal sample size.
Upon confrontation, however, they will state that it was "only an opinion" in an attempt to preserve their status and assert their dominance.
The troglodyte's strength lies in its numbers. If there are enough troglodytes in a group (often called a "tumor"), they can create an echo chamber effect for anyone that has an opposing opinion, resulting in assimilation into their ranks. This is the source of the troglodyte's confidence, as it leads many to believe they have the power to shape reality.
There are many ways to deal with troglodytes, the most reliable being disengagement. You may also attempt discourse with a troglodyte, but their reliance on insults and circular logic makes them difficult to best in a verbal altercation.
by commitnotliving February 4, 2020
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