theoretical cougar

A woman of cougar age (usually divorced, separated or unmarried). She doesn't hunt younger men. Instead she lusts at them and mentions it to her close friends and/or relatives in private.

Mom (in a whisper): "Meredith, you see those 5 guys over there? They're hot! Aren't they?"

Meredith: "OMG Mom!!! Those guys are all my age!!!"

Mom (still whispering): "Yeah, I know. But I'd love to get with one of 'em. Too bad I could never tell them that."

Meredith: "You're such a theoretical cougar"

by blacksburgcougee November 19, 2011

Theorectumly

according to a theory of an idea pulled out of one's ass

Theorectumly, there is a universe in an infinite number of universes in which I am smarter than an average garden gnome.

by ThatOneGuy-_- February 23, 2022

Theoretical Boner

When a female finds something either sexually arousing or expresses much interest in something (usually food) that a male would typically agree with.

Example 1
Boy: Katie was sooo hot when she kissed Mandy
Girl: omg that just gave me a theoretical boner!

Example 2
Boy: Did you hear they have deep-fried twinky's at the fair this year?
Girl: Wow the thought of a twinky deep-fried gave me a major theoretical boner!

by Sinful Divinity December 1, 2011

Theoret

A person who is a hardcore canadian. Typically says "eh" at the end of every sentence. Yet can kick ass when bitched at and are mainly potheads. Will junk punch whoever pisses them off then yell you know whyyyyy

Blake: Dude DJ was a total theoret yesterday.

Justin:Really?

Blake: Yeah! That dude didn't even know what came to him.

by Justin1369 December 22, 2008

Theoretical Whore

A person who likes everybody but can;t get a single one.

"Yo, you see that ugly girl over there? She's a theoretical whore."

by FatGutOmega March 13, 2009

Theoretical Testicles

The balls that women freeze off when they climb into cold waters. Women don't have testicles so we need something to freeze off besides our breasts because that would be saddening for both sexes. The moment when you get your groin area submerged into the water and you must stop and breath those are your theoretical testicles falling off.

When she cannon balled into the water, you could see her theoretical testicles shrivle and fall off.

by Electric Llithium (KillJoys) July 29, 2011

Theoretically

It means that something could possibly happen. It is highly unlikely it will ever happen, but there is a chance it could happen.

1. Obama can theoretically never be a good president.

2. Theoretically the Illuminati are real.

3. Theoretically it could happen.

by The Inprectichous Man January 30, 2015