beating the bishop

Masturbating.

How many times a day do you beat your bishop?

by chronicmasturbator March 27, 2003

choke the bishop

noun: masturbate.
In the game of chess the bishop piece bears remarkable resemblance to a circumcised penis.

After blowing it with every girl in the bar, Dave had no choice but to go home and choke the bishop.

by Spit Blood April 15, 2003

“Talk to the Bishop” rough

When a person of the Mormon religion makes out with someone at a party and has to seek guidance from a bishop and repent.

Yo... Eziekiel made out with Sarah at the stake dance last night. Apparently it got “Talk to the Bishop” rough...

by sometimesblue June 10, 2018

buffing the bishop

male masturbation

It's that time of the month for his girl, so he's not going to be humping the monkey. He'll be left buffing the bishop.

by dana_mix October 14, 2007

Banging the bishop

A guy masterbating, wanking, greasing the pole.

Gallino said he'd rather stay at home banging the bishop than go out drinking.

by Dogg-in-the-box March 5, 2009

flogging the bishop

A synonym for masturbation.

I was so horny i decided to flog the bishop underneath my desk in health class while they gave us the "STD slideshow"! Wow, it turned me on!

by Drew October 3, 2003

playing with the bishop's nephew

"playing with the bishop's nephew" is the act of masturbating while taking a shit in public. in modern usage the term also covers the act of masturbating while shitting in private, however the public aspect of the activity is of no small importance.

derek: "hey ronny, what's happening?"

ronny: "ah nothin', just hangin' at the crib."

derek: "well, you wouldn't believe what happened to me today- so i was up at colombus circle waiting for the bus, just playing with the bishop's nephew, and next thing you know this bitch starts flippin' out."

ronny: "what'd you do then?"

derek: "i told the bitch to chill the fuck out, i'm just playing with the bishop's nephew."

ronny: "sounds reasonable enough."

by pat seick February 5, 2010