SPLAK these hams

To ejaculate, skeet, cum, blow load, spray, or shoot a load on her butt cheeks

Steve: I went to the store and I met this girl she was real real fine. I tapped her on the sholder and said "excuss me mamm"

Sammy: She pulled down her pants and sid "splak these hams"

by Sammy that girl September 7, 2006

I’m just speaking in general…

I’m just speaking in general… — a story telling tactic used by old southern people when they are actually reading you from head to toe; inside and out; and from womb to tomb. In many ways, this is worse than if they put both feet in your ass and yelled at you about your folly.

“I’m just speaking in general” has four parts: a detailed summary of your past character; a current analysis of your present actions based on things you did as a child; a detailed outcome of you actions based on probability and having seen your story played out in other people’s lives that they have seen with their own eyes; and, an admonition to change your ways if you don't want to end up like the person they are just “speaking in general about.

Boy, I ain’t got no hang ups; I’m too old to have hang ups. Hang ups is for young people — I’m just speaking in general… Oh I knew a boy like you: he was hard headed when he was a baby and he’s head headed now. You know what they say about hard headed people: A HARD HEAD MAKES A SOFT ASSSSSSSSSSS!!!! I’m just speaking in general. But, if you don’t want to end up like that; you better change your ways!!!!!!!!!

by Mind Hunter the Profiler September 22, 2023

Speaker Mike Johnson

The person nobody ever heard of before who gets promoted directly to the top job.

“My firm’s new CEO got promoted directly from an entry position. Literally, nobody knows who he is or how he got the job. He’s a total Speaker Mike Johnson.”

by TK2000 October 28, 2023

Speak Softly and Carry a Big Dick

One of the most important principles of Big Dick Diplomacy. The term was coined on January 26, 1900 by Theodore Roosevelt when his coworker expressed his frustration of not being able to get laid. Roosevelt proclaimed, "Speak softly and carry a big dick, you will get laid." He took Roosevelt's advice, although it has never been officially confirmed if he got laid.

Coworker: "Why can't I get laid?, I always get rejected."
Roosevelt: "Next time you get rejected try using Big Dick Diplomacy. Speak softly and carry a big dick, you will get laid."
Coworker (5 minutes later): "Thanks for the advice, I just got laid."
Roosevelt: "Awesome, I told you it works."

by Forgotten History Revealed May 19, 2016

She can speak french

Is a polite way of saying she gives a good blowjob

"She can speak French, I think she fluent"

Mean she gives amazing blowjobs she must be fluent at it lol that song isn't as innocent as you thought but just remember good girls are bad girls who haven't been caught

by Invisible hood July 23, 2016

The BioClock Speaking

An utterance, voice, thought or dream that comes as one ages, that, even though logically one does not want a baby, urges one to be fruitful and multiply.

Aging woman: I had a dream last night that I was nursing a baby, and now I can't stop thinking about it. I want a baby so bad now.

Friend: Don't worry... that's just the bioclock speaking and doesn't mean anything.

Aging woman: (thoughtfully) I'm ovulating today...

Friend: You know you don't want that. Do not heed when the voice of the bioclock speaks!

by Belch Queen October 20, 2018

I want to speak to the manager

Karen says this every time somebody gets an order 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% of an order wrong

Karen: I want to speak to the manager
Employer: oh shit
Manager: oh shit
CEO: oh shit
President of the USA: oh shit
UN: oh shit
Lizard guys: oh shit
Every sentient being in the universe: oh shit

by &qwertyuiop& October 27, 2019