shampoopoo

Shampoo that while it sound like it would be pleasant when you read the label in a store, really sucks big walrus cock when you take it home and use it; forcing you to dump it in the toliet or down the lavatory drain and purchase a new bottle of some other variety.

Not to be confused with shampiss, shampee, shampiddle, or shampotty.

{Mike, at store}: Hey Chris, didn't you just buy a big-ass bottle of shampoo a day or so ago?

{Chris, at same store}: Yeah Mike, but it was shampoopoo! It was Suave Lotus Pedals but it really smelled like shit so I got rid of it!

by Telephony June 21, 2012

shampoo my crotch

An English phrase used to express strong dislike for something.

People who talk in metaphors ought to shampoo my crotch.

by Teddy of the Sea April 23, 2014

Arguing with a shampoo bottle

When arguing with someone and the other party distracts the topic by resorting to appeals of emotion, belief and other logical fallacies.
The conversation gets caught in a loop. As it reads on the back of a shampoo bottle at the end of the instructions...rinse and repeat.

"X must exist. I just saw a poll that says 90% of all Americans believe in X."

"99% of everyone once thought the world was flat. They had no evidence and were proven wrong by people who sought the truth."

"X must exist! If X did not exist, then the world would be a horrible place!"

"You'll be able to move on. Its only in your mind that X influences your life."

"I acknowledge that I have no argument for the existence of X. However, I have a great desire for X to exist. Therefore I accept that X exists."

"This is like arguing with a shampoo bottle. You're stuck in a loop of rinse and repeat."

by Dread Pirate Skeptic June 8, 2014

Shampooping

v. the act of squirting a travel-size bottle portion of shampoo up one's anus, and then proceeding to bend over a willful and participating lover's head, from which the carrier of shampoo releases it on their head, giving them a thorough and affectionate cleaning.

When I got back from my trip, I was dead-tired and just wanted Melissa to give me a good shampooping; she refused of course, that fucking prude!

by Pantene Pro-V lover September 5, 2011

Shampooed

adj. Mentally cleansed, espeically of behaviours, attitudes, or even memories considered "undesirable" by one partner. To truly shampoo a partner requires a great deal of effort to achieve the required level of obedience, but results in a docile and obedient lover who cannot conceive of not wanting to obey and please.

GF1: "Damn, Margot really shampooed her toyboy!"
GF2: "He doesn't even recognize his old girlfriends anymore..."
GF1: "She took him from free-range boi to shampooed toy!"

by Margot and Bubble May 26, 2009

Shampoo Bottle

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING UP SHAMPOO BOTTLE YOU RETARD! IT IS JUST A BOTTLE WITH FUCKING SHAMPOO IN IT

Hey dude I just stuck my dick in a shampoo bottle and killed your nan with it!

by Champaroo February 14, 2019

hickory shampoo

n. a technique typically used by law enforcement wherein the wooden baton - traditionally made of wood from the hickory tree - is applied on or about the head and shoulders of a deserving miscreant resisting arrest or otherwise needing a lesson.

COP 1: "Last night, some drunk dude wanted to fight when I went to arrest him. Now he's in the hospital getting his teeth re-aligned."

COP 2: "How'd you get him?"

COP 1: "Gave him the ol' hickory shampoo."

COP 2: "Damn..."

by Nite Owl August 7, 2007