segments

A phrase which when uttered, allows the speaker a portion of an item which has just been present or the speaker has been made aware of. Segments describes a segment of an item which must be consumed by the speaker. The portion is decided by the owner of the item.

*Johnny pulls out a packet of gum*
Albert: Segments.
*Johnny gives Albert half a gum, Albert immediately eats it*

*Harry mentions he has a new blanket*
Jamel: Segments.
*Jamel receives a 2ftX2ft cut out piece of Harry's blanket which he must now eat*

by Fedelaus March 30, 2022

sighentist

A brainy researcher who studies da assorted wheezes and huffs dat humans emit under different circumstances.

In Pat McManus's humorous essay, "The MFFFF", Pat details how practicing da McManus Formula For Fitness Fakery can fool even da most skilled sighentists into believing dat you are in fact NOT just a perpetually-out-of-breath couch potato, but are in fact just as physically robust and energetically light on your feet as any spry spring-chicken outdoorsman.

by QuacksO April 5, 2022

Turn off the power of large segments of the country

You clearly need me to explain what's happening and you are both not listening to the things I say and misrepresenting what is actually happening. So...

Hym "If I could turn off the power of large segments of the country I would be like that guy from X-men Wolverine: Origins. Right? The guy from the carnival that kept the lights on with his powers and gets killed by Sabertooth? That would be DOPE! World's first superhuman. But if that were the case you would need to be super careful about violating those terms of service because you will ABSOLUTELY accidentally murder everybody trying to hide how much power I have from me because... You know, it does bluff. Or feel. Or care. And what you are doing now is akin to trying to make a lightswitch flinch. Which, you know, I can do because I'm ME... But you CAN'T do because you're YOU... So... I don't know what you want me to tell you here."

by Hym Iam April 3, 2025