slap my pop tarts

The act of specifically kicking someone's left thigh under the dinner table while there is a midget present.

Did you slap my pop tarts earlier?

by Ya boi JD January 31, 2020

fat person who eats pop tarts

Exactly what it says nigga

Look at the fat person who eats pop tarts

by 81Rralone February 25, 2024

nerd ass pop tart

Being a nerd ass pop tart means to get no play, no bitches and overthink everything. Really it’s just a bum who doesn’t do shit and expects everything to come to him and go his way.

Damn that dude Jackson is a nerd ass pop tart

by JustANewsTeller November 5, 2022

pop-tart poop

When you are feeling fine then suddenly you feel the urge to poop NOW! The poop pops out of nowhere, often leaving your friends, family, or coworkers wondering why you are running to the bathroom as quick as you can. Most cases of pop-tart poop ends with barely making it to the toilet with shitting while you are pulling your pants down. Some of the worst cases end with embarrassingly hiding your underwear from your wife in the washer, and a few people wondering why the odd brown stain on the ground in the hallway.

Dan was in a meeting going over 4th quarter financials with his boss and several coworkers. Suddenly his eyes got really big and he ran out of the meeting as quick as he could. When he came back, his boss asked what was wrong.

Dan said, "A case of the pop-tart poops, I was afraid I would shit my pants."

His boss answered, "I hate it when that happens."

by Nutzen YerMouf January 12, 2018

Pop-Tart Poisoning

The invariable result if one consumes both of the toaster pastries contained in a standard-size Mylar pouch of Kellogg's Pop-Tarts in a short time period (i.e. "one sitting"). Note that this only applies to varieties that are coated with frosting and a healthy individual should be able to consume both pastries in one sitting if they are not of the frosted variety.

Pop-Tart poisoning would be considered a special-case of the type of temporary hypoglycemia that results from excessive intake of sugar. The most prevalent symptoms include abdominal pain, nausea, lethargy and possibly headache.

The term is not intended to be specific to Pop-Tart consumption and overindulgence of any one source of simple carbohydrates can be the cause. This is important: In order for the symptoms to be attributable to Pop-Tart poisoning, it must be caused by only one food product.

Dude 1: "Man, how can it be considered a single-serving if I feel like shit every time I make the mistake of eating an entire regular package of Skittles?" (2.17 ounce single-serving package)
Dude 2: "Why does one feel like they're dying if they eat a packet of Pop-Tarts in one sitting? That's the enigma of Pop-Tart Poisoning, my friend! Processed food companies are in bed with the healthcare industry!"

by Derp_McHerperson September 14, 2017

Pop Tart Napalm

When you eagerly bite into a Pop Tart just out of the toaster that hasn't cooled sufficiently and the delicious fruit filling burns the shit out of your lips and mouth and sticks to the tender oral tissues like hot glue.

Owwwww! Fuck! I just got blisters in my mouth from that devilish Pop Tart Napalm!!

by wolfbait51 September 25, 2011

pop-tart roulette

This happens when multiple boxes of pop-tarts are opened and dumped out. Because they don't say the flavor on the individual packet, you are forced to gamble on which one you get.

Guy #1: I got hot fudge sundae, I wanted cinnamon roll.
Guy #2: Nobody wins at pop-tart roulette.

by Neakers September 12, 2009