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Photographic Hearing

The ability to recall past events vividly and accurately using your ability to hear.
That dumb ass nigga just told his buddy that he has Photographic Hearing.
by HEHEXD99999999999999 August 26, 2019
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Soccer Mom Photographer

The slippery slope of becoming a wannabe "Pro Photographer" that starts with the rule of 1 in 1,000.

With the advent of digital slr cameras for under $500 every mom with a camera takes 1,000 pictures of their child, 1 of those pictures is pretty good and when shown to a friend or family member she hears the golden words "that shot is great...you have a real knack for photography" and so the journey begins.

Without any inkling of ISO, shutter speed, aperture, color balance, lighting, composition...any thought at all (AUTO EVERYTHING) mom thinks she has actual talent.

Through the marketing avenues of friends she books a few gigs shooting babies on bedsheets with gerber daisies, wearing funny colorful hats, hanging in cheese cloth, hands shaped in the form of hearts on expecting bellies, bad lighting, composition and exposure, but the ability to "sell it as art" since she's now a pro shooter.

1.) Images way to photoshopped, skintones are blown out, yellow, way to saturated.

2.) Won't give you a receipt since hubby is the bread winner and doesn't claim her income, it's tax free money under the table.

3.) Uses pirated photoshop.

4.) All the comments on their "mommy photo blog" are posted by the same 10 people every post with generic comments like "OMG, SO CUTE!!!!" or "Lisa, you are SO talented, OMG!!!" It's pretty much a must to have multiple exclamation points OMG! All comments must be dripping with unbelievable back patting ooze.
How was your session? I forgot all of my equipment at the studio so I just soccer mom'd it.

Wow, uuum, those images are really something? Yeah, I went to a soccer mom photographer. We didn't have the money for a professional photographer.

Those pictures look like my mom took them! That's because we used a soccer mom photographer.
by stinkbuttboy February 17, 2010
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Facebook Photographer

This is some kid who was given or purchased a DSLR and now believes they are photographers. Like every picture they take could be in a gallery.
by Master bv October 12, 2010
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Phallic photograph

When you wanna send dick pics, but you're classy as fuck.
Oh Dorothy! Come have a gander at this fine phallic photograph that Fitzgerald sent.
by DmitryDaDouche May 22, 2017
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Instagram Photographer

An "Instagram Photographer" is someone who believes that due to them having an Instagram account and taking tons of photos with their iPhone, they are now worthy of calling themselves photographers - even though most will have no real knowledge of text book photography.

It is also a growing hipster culture.
Me: Bro, change the ISO settings on your phone.
John Smith: Ummm, what the hell is that?
Me: Bro come on! The ISO settings! Your phone does have them somewhere right?
John Smith: Bro, I just press this button and it takes photos... That's all.
Me: You're such a damn Instagram Photographer!
by MCMXCII January 7, 2012
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Boudoir Photography

The art of offering space, trust and time to a person, or group of people, allowing them to express themselves as they would in the privacy of their own Boudoir. The craft lies on ones ability to adapt, blend in, disappear into the shadows. Sometimes, pictures also come out of this.
Have you checked out Mr London Boudoir's work? Most people thought he is just a weird old guy, using Boudoir Photography to get women to take off their clothes. Whereas he is just a decent listener.
by iAmJackOat June 14, 2020
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Fashion Photographer

One who takes enormous amounts of pictures of other, beautiful people. They yell at the models, lie on the floor, or stand on a ladder to get the right pose. But, they are basically amazing.
by colorfulkaleidoscope February 24, 2009
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