necrophilia

What possible reason could you have for looking this up?

Necrophilia? Your mom worries about you.

by R.Volcano September 16, 2008

Early onset necrophilia

When the elderly have sex, pushing apart a grilled cheese sandwich with a loose sausage you found in the back of the freezer.

I walked into great aunt Bessie's room and her and uncle Boris were going at it, 19 to the dozen. The doctor said it's 'early onset necrophilia' and prescribed me some eye bleach.

by Pork Almighty June 17, 2016

reverse necrophilia

the act of being raped by a zombie or other undead

you know in that movie when those zombies raped those people? that was reverse necrophilia

by Chris and Lucas October 27, 2006

Nepiophile

Yet another rebrand of pedophilia; yet apparently is supposed to mean attraction to toddlers and infants.

Sane Person: Pedophiles don't deserve sympathy.
Pedophile: I'm a nepiophile! There's a difference!
Sane Person: <Google's it> That is sick. Get some help!

by Nikolai5 October 11, 2019

Necrophiladelphia

The art of having sex with a dead person using cream cheese as lubrication

Working in a morgue, I see a lot of fit, dried up girls, so it calls for some necrophiladelphia

by Coldfire666 May 25, 2011

Necrophilia

Some creepy fucking thing where some deusch of a human being screws some dead person. Generally done by guys cuz it's kinda hard for a chick to get it on with someone who's dead and not cooperating... but there is the whole rigamortis thing...

Annie: What's necrophilia Mr. Mister?
Mr. Mister: Well.. um... Annie, I don't want to go into this with you...
Annie: Please Mr. Mister. I can handle it *unreassuring thumbs up*
Mr. Mister: Uhhh... someone who loves dead people dear.
Annie: *sound of crickets in the background* huh?
Chloe: You heard the man. Someone who LOVES dead people *suggestive eyebrow waggling*
Annie: Wait... what? Mr. Mister... Do they do... sexual... things with them?
Chloe: *bangs head into desk*
Mr. Mister: Yes Annie. Yes they do.
Annie: Like, OMG!
Mr. Mister: OK. Back to the actual topic at hand-
Annie: Wait! Do these people like live together in cults?
Chloe: *Do you retards live in a cult to keep yourselves out of the gene-pool?*
Mr. Mister: No... They do this on their own...
Annie: Ooooooh... Who are they? Do they dig up graves?
Sophie: No. They're usually psychopaths that murder people and then *ahem* with the dead bodies.
Annie: O__o
Chloe: Sometimes they work at morgues.
Annie: What? 0_0
Chloe: At morgues. Ya know... granny dies... the morgue guy gets her... sometimes with very different intents in mind then regular society.
Annie: WAAAAH!
Mr. Mister: OKAY THEN. New subject
Annie: *sniffles*

by DeCaelo January 14, 2010

necrophilic

A necrophillic is an intelligent person who uses the free enviornmental method of 'recycling'.

They make use of dead and deceased carcus' to sexually arouse themselves.

There are Pros and Cons of being a necrophillic

Pros:
- Recycle dead bodies
- Work with a proven effective method of safe sex (The other person isn't even alive!)
- Get turned on and have sex for FREE
- About 300 years worth of people to choose from
- Save countless amount of women who are still alive and do not want to have sex
- A chance to make people who died virgins have the time of their life!
- You get a free 'Hello my name is <XXX> and I am a Necrophillic' badge when you join the National Necrophilic Nice-guys associaton
- Cannot contract ANY sexually transmitted diseases!
- If you are a quiet person, this is the job/hobby for you!
- Virtually all dead bodies swallow, spew (if you make them), take anal, and do anything you want them to!

Cons:
- Might get haunted by dead people (see Silent Hill)
- Not a good alternative if you want to start a family and have a baby
- Might have some trouble putting body parts back together
- Might find 'dud' bodies that turn to dust when you touch them
- Cannot have sex with a dead body and take it on a date to restaurants. Well, you can, but there is no guarentee your partner will pay the food bill.
- Cannot guarentee that if you are a heterosexual that you will be able to determine the sex of your dead body
- Hard to find a job and get a decent pay because the taxes are high. For example Grave Digging tax, Grave opening Tax, Grave lifting and maintenance Tax

"Ooohh, oohh Jonathon Draldrow (1792-1843), do you like it when I poke your pelvis with my hard genital. Do you like it when I slap my genital all over your empty eye sockets? You love that, don't `cha. That's right Jonathon, I'm a professional necrophilic"

by Sam Abdow September 20, 2005