Monsterbating

When you jerk off so hard that its scary but it feels so good that you wanna squirt EVERYWHERE!

To being jerked off really hard and vigorously.

Honey! Why are you jerking off so hardddd!

Oh don't worry honey, I'm only monsterbating it doesn't hurt.

by Kajur April 2, 2013

Monsterbating

The act of masturbating under one's bed or in one's closet with the intent to frighten.

Greg was scared shitless when he found Aaron monsterbating in his closet at 3 am.

by TheProfessor42069 October 14, 2011

Mindsterbating

The act of masterbating without using any masterbatory aids such as pronography.

Friend 1- Why didnt you answer your phone?

Friend 2- Sorry, I was mindsterbating to the memory of those two chicks kissing at the party lastnight.

Friend 1- You're pathetic.

by Jack Hambit April 2, 2011

masterbating with a cheese grater

Doing a task that is not a good idea

Moving this piano without help is like masterbating with a cheese grater.

by matt1975 September 10, 2012

masterbating

Expertly jacking off.

Guy 1:Man, I think steve's masturbating again.
Guy 2: From the sound of it, he ain't just masturbating, he's MASTERbating.

by Sir Fizwheel Humperdink October 5, 2007

stealth masterbating

When one wacks off as quietly as possible so as to not disturb the people in the same room.

Sam: I hope no one notices I am stealth masterbating
Girl friend: Sam ... are you wacking off!!!!
Sam: Oh Shit!

by themanwiththeplan9192 April 4, 2010

Masterbating Monkey

A primate creature who masterbates.

"Monkey Masterbation Spotting" has become a hobby in the South American State of illinois. A well known competitor in the sport of of Monkey Masterbation Spotting is Fred Phelps, a very vocal and fanatically religeous biggot.

The monkey wrapped his primate hand around his primate pink penis, and masterbated furiously untill he fell out of his tree. Fred Phelps watched in glee as he photographed the event so he could show the pictures to his family.

by Gordon Freeman October 31, 2004