molestache

type of mustache: not quite a pornstache but just as creepy.

looks like: John Mayer trying to grow a Tom Selleck mustache. John Mayer has a molestache.

by skweakrz March 8, 2011

molestache

1. a mustache thinner than one left by milk or kool aid reticent of creepers. 2. often found on the upper lips of hipsters who are on a quest for the truly ironic handlebar mustache but for some reason or another fail at attaining glory. they often make up for this lack of facial handlebars by riding around town on a neon fixed gear bike (with sweet handlebars) 3. sometimes found on men sporting mock turtlenecks. 4. found when boys skinny jeans are too tight and their leg hair sprouts on their upper lip instead.

"hey i heard you were trying to get a job at that local record bike store vegan organic cafe?"
"yeah, i don't think i fit in though...I don't have a molestache."
"but you're a girl..."

by oopseiffelover March 7, 2010

molestache

A mustache that makes you look like you molest children.

Check out that guys molestache! Keep him within 100 feet of that elementary school.

by lolamite February 3, 2010

molestache

When a person, more humorous when they happen to be female, has a mole above her upper lip area, supplemented with a mousatche, varying in thickness.

Dude, look at that chick's molestache.

by Nick (2) Chris Sean etc etc March 20, 2004

molestache

A cheesy mustache that gives the wearer the appearance of a stereotypical 1970s child molester.

John's new molestache makes me want to hide my kid whenever I see him

by delapine April 30, 2010

Molestache

As referenced by famous chef Michael Glennon : A creepy mustache often seen on a man or woman who molests people or things.

That creepy guy in the panel van has a molestache

by Chiquita bonana October 30, 2010

Molestache

A certain type of moustache worn by people who either are or will be on a list of local sex offenders.

"Dude look at Captain Crunch's molestache, he totally touches children."

by the cotck August 20, 2009