Mysterbating

The act of overusing or abusing the social network of any kind

Person #1: Dude i sent you like 50 messages.
Person #2: Dude you are too in touch with this. Stop mysterbating.

by Georgio Lopezio June 17, 2010

misterbating

Masturbating to the thought of an older male that you refer to as "Mister"

She got caught misterbating about her professor during class

by raujero December 7, 2016

Manterboating

The placement of one's face, into the cleavage of a man's moobs, followed by the side-to-side shaking of the head accompanied with a motor-ing sound.

John made many trips to McDonalds on Friday; resulting in a hefty, yet delicious figure. Sarah was captivated by his rolls and decided manterboating his moobs at the pool the next day would be a hot idea.

by D & L February 3, 2008

martyrbating

Using one's religion to be perceived as a victim, beg for donations, or to appear more righteously pious than others. Often used in conjunction with the case of the sadz.

Tony Perkins and Bryan Brown are martyrbating again against the "evils" of homosexuality.

The anti-gay/religious right organizations are having funding issues again, time for another round of martyrbating.

by Empyrealgod November 15, 2013

illegitimate masturbating

1. what jesus is said to have condemned as the greatest sin to be commited as "it is wasting thy knuckle children into a sock only to be put into the bottom ov a hamper."

2. what is done on a daily basis in the white house

3. learning algebra

4. sharing files on frostwire

i gotta go do some illegitimate masturbating

by incipitsathanas October 19, 2009

The masturbating ninja technique

When a gentlemen decides to enter the masturbatory stage of his day, he may decide to deploy the homo sapien style (standing up) only to realize his t-shirt drops down into penile range. To avoid ejaculate or any lubratory means being transferred onto ones personnel, the ninja technique is engaged by whipping the front flap of the t-shirt over the head to create a warm, stylish, and protective measure against the army of unbelievable stickiness.

Policeman 1: "We found this fine young lad frozen to death here in the arctic tundra'.
Policeman 2: "It looks like he's been out here for weeks and missed the warm soothing touch of a woman, and decided to literally take matters into his own hands".
Policeman 1: "Correctomundo. If only he had a mentor to teach him the ways of the masturbating ninja technique, he might have pulled through".
Policeman 2: "Hey! Yeah that's true. If only he kept his shirt flipped over his head with his shoulders covered instead of taking it completely off, he'd still be here today".
Policeman 1: "Poor, poor, uninformed bastard".

by dirk digglett March 31, 2015

caught masturbating

Being made to feel shame and humiliation for something that every one else does.

Jill was caught masturbating in her dorm room, and her friends will never let her forget about it.

by Jill VanDeLay September 30, 2003