Jesus Christ: the poem.
Jesus.
The savior.
The light of the world.
The big cheese up in the sky.
Who was nailed to a cross, so we wouldn’t die.
Jesus.
The savior.
The light of the world.
The big cheese up in the sky.
Who was nailed to a cross, so we wouldn’t die.
by nethcev! September 01, 2006
Get the Jesus Christ mug.A cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father and can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Damn, that guy Jesus Christ sure is bad-ass. He somehow managed to revive himself after being nailed to a giant board. Props, yo.
by Levi Hizzle August 13, 2009
Get the Jesus Christ mug.Main character in the best selling fiction book of all time. Don't bother reading it though, he dies in the end.
I'm so bummed that Jesus Christ got killed off in the end of the Bible! But hey, they could totally make a killer zombie movie from his resurrection.
by skifreemt February 25, 2010
Get the Jesus Christ mug.A mythological creature to whom is attributed power to redeem man from eternal damnation as a consequence of sin. Born of man's need to believe in something, Christ is a useful tool for many things: keeping the gullible in line, raising money, imposing morals on others, justifying war, bloodshed, and terrorism, explaining away tragedies like childhood cancer and natural disaster, silencing dissent, and imposing guilt, are among the most popular miracles performed by Jesus.
Christ retains a strong following thousands of years after his invention, despite the advance of science, education, and technology in the years since.
Christ retains a strong following thousands of years after his invention, despite the advance of science, education, and technology in the years since.
Jesus Christ, almighty son of God, has all power in heaven and earth, except the power to grow a money tree.
by runrobrun July 24, 2011
Get the Jesus Christ mug.Jesus Christ is a fictional character.
Associated with The Bibles(A Fictional Storybook) and Christianity.
Associated with The Bibles(A Fictional Storybook) and Christianity.
by Doomester December 26, 2018
Get the Jesus Christ mug.The protagonist in the best-selling fiction book of all time.
Spolier Alert: Jesus dies.
Also used as an exclamation of shock. It can be used with the conjuction of another word inserted between 'Jesus' and 'Christ'.
Spolier Alert: Jesus dies.
Also used as an exclamation of shock. It can be used with the conjuction of another word inserted between 'Jesus' and 'Christ'.
1) Reference to Bible
Pastor: So have you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?
Jessica: Oh wait, you mean that dude with the beard who's the main character in that popular bullshit book where magic happens? That one? Nah... did you hear I'm officially atheist?
2) - Shock
Ally: Did you hear Dan got into jail?
Ben: Jesus Christ! How the hell'd that happen!?
3) In conjuction with another word.
Tom: So what answer did you get for 5c on the maths homework?
Olly: Jesus rollerblading Christ, I forgot we had homework!
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Lolita: So... when's your birthday again?
Beth: Jesus fucking Christ Lolita, how many times do I have to tell you?
Pastor: So have you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour?
Jessica: Oh wait, you mean that dude with the beard who's the main character in that popular bullshit book where magic happens? That one? Nah... did you hear I'm officially atheist?
2) - Shock
Ally: Did you hear Dan got into jail?
Ben: Jesus Christ! How the hell'd that happen!?
3) In conjuction with another word.
Tom: So what answer did you get for 5c on the maths homework?
Olly: Jesus rollerblading Christ, I forgot we had homework!
-----
Lolita: So... when's your birthday again?
Beth: Jesus fucking Christ Lolita, how many times do I have to tell you?
by HelloWorld121 July 28, 2011
Get the Jesus Christ mug.1. A word used to express anger. Avoid saying this in front of Jesus Freaks, it will upset them.
2. Some guy stated in the Bible. He supposedly died on a cross and died for our sins. Now he's gonna save us all or something like that. Of course we all know this is absolutely retarded, after all, the only reference is a really big book.
2. Some guy stated in the Bible. He supposedly died on a cross and died for our sins. Now he's gonna save us all or something like that. Of course we all know this is absolutely retarded, after all, the only reference is a really big book.
1. Jesus Christ, why the hell is my wife doing another man in my bed??
2. All the Bible is, is a big book, ok?? Who wrote the book? God? Ok. Yeah. God wrote the Bible and then came down to earth and gave it to some guy so he could show it to everyone. YEAH RIGHT. You know what really happened? Some guy wrote all this bull so that he could make some money.
And how come even in the Bible, men have all the power? I though "Jesus" believed in equality for everyone!! Wtf?
Tell you what, when Jesus "Saves" you, I want you to come down here with him and show me. THEN I'll believe it. Thank you.
2. All the Bible is, is a big book, ok?? Who wrote the book? God? Ok. Yeah. God wrote the Bible and then came down to earth and gave it to some guy so he could show it to everyone. YEAH RIGHT. You know what really happened? Some guy wrote all this bull so that he could make some money.
And how come even in the Bible, men have all the power? I though "Jesus" believed in equality for everyone!! Wtf?
Tell you what, when Jesus "Saves" you, I want you to come down here with him and show me. THEN I'll believe it. Thank you.
by XxXI.AM.NOT.AN.AETHEISTXxX April 04, 2009
Get the Jesus Christ mug.