Hym "No, seriously. You need to take a long hard look at yourselves. You really require me to care more about your lives (and by extension you families lives) than I do my own. If I don't it's considered some profound moral failing but it doesn't work the other way around. If I expect what YOU expect I'M STILL THE BAD GUY! You want me to care about your thoughts more than my own. It's just desperation. Desperation to be the thing that decides what happens."
The girl wanted to start taking control of other peoples lives despite never really having had control of herself. Most of her life was an attempt to get people to start paying attention to her and stop rejecting her and going about their lives, which was true desperation.
Someone who's still sending shit in the mail years after the person they're sending it to hasn't accepted one thing they've gotten. That's not optimism, its not blind optimism, its desperation to fuck with somebody's life.