Crypt Keeper

Female so old and decrepit that she resembles the very route of all evil.

Man check out that Crypt Keeper !

Dude yeah, Dianne Feinstein is straight evil, she's straight Crypt Keeper status.

by SurferWordSmithy May 08, 2018

Crypt Keeper

A stripper that is obviously past her prime, that makes you ask yourself why is she still stripping. Usually defined by the undead look in her eyes and kinda looks like an old crone or hag even after make up. There's usually one in every club but there's always exceptions.

Holy shit dude how old do you think that one is?

I dunno man she's gotta be the crypt keeper here.

by pseudotramp December 31, 2013

Crypt Keeper

Nickname for a biological mother who has done nothing but traumatize her children, then lose custody of said children, and choose drugs over everything and anything. Her idea of bonding is offering you to tag-along for a night of blowing bums and contracting STDs. She refuses to take accountability or apologize for selling her children for drugs, abandon them in strangers apartments, and every other fucked up thing she’s done.

Hey, who’s that?
That’s my biological mother, we call her the Crypt Keeper.
Like from Tales Of The Crypt?
Exactly, but crackhead version.

by poisoned poet April 04, 2022