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Cerking

(Pronounced: kir-king) A simulteanous combo of jerking off while crying. Usually accompanied by pictures of your ex or mental visons of a tough breakup.
"I think Zak is going emo on us. After Vanessa dumped him, I caught him cerking it to old yearbook photos of her. I haven't seen a man cry that hard in a long time."
by B-caine January 11, 2009
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Carlina

If you know a carlina chances are she's brightened your day more than a few times with her bubbly, awkward yet cute sense of humor. In fact Carlinas can make anyone laugh. She'll steal your heart with her adorable laugh and drag you in for good with her captivating eyes. You can never be bored talking to a Carlina, everything she says will make you laugh and put you in a good mood
Dude 1: did you hear carlina at dinner?
Dude 2: who didn't? She had everyone laughing!
by James jessie March 19, 2014
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George Carlin

Perhaps one of the finest comedians that ever lived, George Carlin defined the word counterculture as we know it today. Pushing the First Amendment as Lenny Bruce did, Carlin always had something to say and if you were easily offended by what he said he would advise you to "GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE". I hope the First Amendment didn't w/ him. I will miss Georgie Porgie
Most people are not particulary good at anything. George Carlin

If acting was hard for me, I wouldn't do it, it is something that I like to do.

If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.

When evolution is outlawed, only outlaws will evolve.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Somehow I enjoy watching people suffer.

Heart disease has changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon for the smell.

I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

March 1997 We use up words like "spiritual" so fast in this culture. Twenty years ago "spiritual" had a distinct meaning. But now there's a lot of jack-off thinkers who just love to talk about the spiritual. And there is a lot of bogus -- is "bogosity" a word? It should be -- a lot of bogosity in these spiritual seekers. So you have to find another way to express it. I just call it "how I fit.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

I'm not afraid of heights, I'm just afraid of falling from them.

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
by BoredOutofMyMind2 June 23, 2008
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Cerinity

A beautiful girl who has been through hell and is a badass
Cerinity is my best friend
by Cerinity June 15, 2018
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george carlin

Since 9/11, he has been the only stand-up comedian worth listening to. If not for him, we would probably have even less of a first ammendment than we have now. His message has always been that if you dont want to hear something, then you don't have to listen.
Oh beautiful, for-smoggy skies, insecticided grain, for strip-mined mountain's magesty, above the asphault plane, america, america, man sheds his waste on thee, and hide the pines with billboard signs, from sea to smoggy sea
by PhatRyan August 24, 2004
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george carlin

The guy in the Greatful Dead t-shirt and the Fuck You hat agrees with me.
by Simon Says Go Fuck Yourself February 16, 2004
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Celina

A kind girl who seems shy at first. She has brown or black hair and amazing eyes. She is a great friend and is very loyal. Every once in a while she will do something that surprises you. She is mhsterious and when you think about ityou don't know much about her past. She is very strong in what she believes and will love people with all her heart. She is intelligent and knows things that most people don't.
Wow, I never realized how well Celina could sing, I never expected that.
by smile all day all night :) December 24, 2013
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