Beached Whale

A beached whale is a piece of poop so large that it leaves the water of the toilet. This usually leaves a mark as well because the poop touches directly onto the dry part of the toilet. It can often be bragged about between guys. However, girls will not be impressed by the feat of a beached whale and will most likely result in her not wanting to have sex with you.

Guy 1: Dude, I left I huge beached whale in the toilet yesterday. It was like the third one of my whole life.

Guy 2: Awesome, you should have taken a picture.

Guy: Hey, I have a picture of the beached whale I left in the toilet yesterday. Do you want to see it?

Girl: Ew, you're disgusting. I will never have sex with you.

by tehsheriff May 25, 2009

beached whale

a female, whose body closely resembles that of a beached sperm whale.

i can't believe you slept with that beached whale. i.e. Leah

by luke detty May 13, 2005

beached whale

Any fat woman, especially the ones that wear shirts that say things like "Sexy" on their tank tops that clearly do not cover enough skin.

Yo, do you see that beached whale over there?

Where?

The one eating that small child dipped in ranch dip

by slivr3388 June 25, 2008

beached whale

a beached whale with a cocktail sausage is a fat guy with a very small penis!

he was like a beached whale with a cocktail sausage

by mighty triple.t November 11, 2010

Beached Whale

Referring to a chubby or fat person. Normally said as if it were a sentence itself...

(In The Middle of Math Class While Noticing A Fatty)

-Yo dude check out the size of that girl.

-Holy shit! Quiet, Quiet...

-BEACHED WHALE! BEACHED WHALE! Save It. Hurry. BEACHED WHALE!

by Nick Wagner February 5, 2008

Beached Whale

Is a very common sex position where the girl is told to move around like a dying whale and the male of other partner has to stop it and spray water in the whale

Boy: You know what time it is

Girl: * lays on floor*, "ITS BEACHED WHALE TIME"

by NzCoCoPoPs June 18, 2021

Beached whale

Also known as Desi. A large goober-headed she/male with a body that resembles a trash bag filled with mango pulp. It's face is the spitting image of a bulldog, and like a bulldog, desi will hump anything with, or without, a pulse. Smells like a sun-dried tuna fish, and close sources say it is so womped it looks like a Picasso down there. Stay away from the desi. It might sit on you, or eat you. It's unpredictable.

This beached whale is just another reminder that accidents DO happen and some people should put a condom on it.

by TheObsure February 18, 2015