Bassoon 

A large wooden double reeded instrument that is often mistaken for an oboe by people that have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. Or, someone is resembling it to a bong. i have heard on numerous occasions, "farting bed post" and "potato shooter" the bassoon is by far the worlds most unique instrument and by far the coolest. eventhough it gets hated on much more than any other instrument.. ever. that is because everyone else is jealous.
this instrument produces a deep rich sound that if played incorrectly can sound like something is dying. which is why the majority of people should not play it. for in the wrong hands it sounds awful. in good hands of a skilled musician it has a beautiful sound. as long as its a wooden bassoon, they make them in plastic for student musiciains, i don't reccomend it.
the bassoon has 13 thumb keys. its rather intense and you really have to have skillful fingers to play a bassoon.
especially since you have to get used to holding some holes half way.
the bassoon is a base clef instrument that really brings in a quality base sound to the orchastra.

if you're looking at someone who is a bassoonist beware they're quick and will most likely kick your ass. That is if you harass the instrument they've spent way too many hours trying to perfect.
fantasia The Sorceer's Apprentice (with mickey mouse)
the main melody is all bassoon baby

joey: hey check out that huge pipe thing.
amy: thats an oboe i think...
kelsi: no dummy its a bassoon

Bassoon by k2thespecial November 2, 2008

Bassoon 

A large, very complicated bass woodwind instrument. Extremely frustrating to learn and even harder to master. Most who attempt give up because thumbs are not meant to move as fast as is needed to play it.
It is thought to have been designed by the devil himself.

John: Hey, man, you still playing that bassoon?

Joe: No, way! I gave it up weeks ago for something easy, a baritone

Bassoon by MissBlackEyeLiner February 26, 2009

Bassoon 

The bassoon is by far the best instrument ever, making the other sections bow down to them. If you fail to play it right though, it will sound like a duck that is dying.

And although it is the best, the other sections must confuse the bassoon with the oboe every other time they say the name, because they do not know any better.

Commonly referred to as the "farting bedpost", and also the target of many jokes (most of which involve the bassoon again being compared with the inferior oboe, having it being burned longer.) the bassoonists must be very patient.

Clarinetist: Nice Oboe!
Bassoonist: IT'S A BASSOON! -stabs with reed-

What's the difference between a bassoon and an oboe? The bassoon burns longer!

Bassoon by PointofnoReturn April 12, 2011

Bassoon 

A pain in the ass, a massive pain. Can and will be mistakenly called:

a. Oboe
b. Large flute
c. Clarinet
d. Bass clarinet
e. Baritone saxophone
f. Trombone
The bassoon looks like a Victorian bedpost and sounds like one too... that is, if you were to ever hollow one out and blow into it. The sounds it makes have been described as "a dying duck", "a dying cat", or "sharp!" It is never in tune. The first five years or so of playing will sound like shit, but once you've hit your sixth or seventh year, it sounds a little less shitty and more like the gates of heaven. You will not be able to march with this (sorry, marching band is out! If you're keen to join, as I am, switch to clarinet or sax!) but it's great for concert band, as it is easiest played sitting down. The fingerings are complete shit and very, VERY confusing. I've looked up clarinet, flute, and saxophone fingerings. They look like addition and subtraction next to the trigonometry of bassoonland. If you want to make your own reeds (anything you can buy is really bad quality) then the process takes weeks. I get this a LOT when I tell people I play bassoon.

"What's that?"
or
"Oh! I know that~! It's like a large flute! :D :D :D!"

or
"Shit, good luck, mate."

:,)

Alma: "Oh, Jolene, what is that?"

Jolene: "It's my bassoon case!"

Alma: "Ooooh, I know that! A bassoon is just like a big flute, isn't it?"
Jolene: "...This is rather concerning as you play trombone in our school band."

Bassoon by anonymous November 7, 2017

bassoon 

A woodwind instrument which resembles a bong.

What the hell, is that kid playing a bong?
No, it's a bassoon.

bassoon by babaloulou November 16, 2003

Bassoon 

most likely to screw up in songs and act so high and mighty but fail without the rest of the band. Shame the brass instruments when brass carry most if not all the songs a good band plays.

This is the fifth time in three minutes you messed up bassoons, keep it up and you won't play at all.

Bassoon by Seth Rodriguez April 21, 2022

bassoon 

Generally, bassoon players have very little luck in love and very little action in bed. This word can define a player's personality, or be used as an insult, when said to someone very much the same way Bugs Bunny says "What a maroon!"

Trombonist: "You're such a dork."
Clarinetist: "At least I've got a girlfriend, you bassoon."
Trombonist: "Ouch, no need to get nasty."

bassoon by Jack Cole March 18, 2005