A place where everyone fucks you over.... and nothing goes your way... People say that the Alberta economy "used" to be good... that's because of the high turn over that results from all the wrongful dismissals/terminations by Alberta employers...
Calgary - Perfect place to die of a fentanyl overdose, get pegged with bullshit tickets by corrupt cops, get wrongfully dismissed from your job, get legally robbed in court by your ex wife or partner, or commit suicide cause Calgary, and pretty much all of Alberta, has absolutely fucking nothing going on in this dead ass hick town. Its a city for name's sake. Don't even try to bring up the Stampede cause that gets old real fast. Oh and forget about finding a good girlfriend to date here unless u driving high roller truck, and work in fort mac or on the Riggs. Cause that's exactly what the Albertan girls are all about. Its the Texas of Canada and basically, a frozen hell hole 8 months out of the year, and now that its economy is in the gutter, there is absolutely no reason to even live here. If ur really brave, try going north and live in Edmonton, which is practically a reserve. I wasted 20 years in this godforsaken hell hole. I hate you Alberta ! If you wanna move here, DON'T! unless you want to be miserable, and if you live here, MOVE!
Calgary - Perfect place to die of a fentanyl overdose, get pegged with bullshit tickets by corrupt cops, get wrongfully dismissed from your job, get legally robbed in court by your ex wife or partner, or commit suicide cause Calgary, and pretty much all of Alberta, has absolutely fucking nothing going on in this dead ass hick town. Its a city for name's sake. Don't even try to bring up the Stampede cause that gets old real fast. Oh and forget about finding a good girlfriend to date here unless u driving high roller truck, and work in fort mac or on the Riggs. Cause that's exactly what the Albertan girls are all about. Its the Texas of Canada and basically, a frozen hell hole 8 months out of the year, and now that its economy is in the gutter, there is absolutely no reason to even live here. If ur really brave, try going north and live in Edmonton, which is practically a reserve. I wasted 20 years in this godforsaken hell hole. I hate you Alberta ! If you wanna move here, DON'T! unless you want to be miserable, and if you live here, MOVE!
In Calgary, Alberta, I worked for many companies, and when they let me go without cause, they didn't give me the money they owed me, so I had to sue. When I told people after it happened more than once, I was told this is normal in Alberta.
In Alberta, there is nothing to do, unless you're into drugs and alcohol, hence all the suicides, crime and overdoses.
I was driving through Alberta, and a cop pulled me over and gave me tickets for no reason. I was told he had to meet his "quota".
I parked my car in Edmonton, Alberta, for under a minute and when I returned, I found a ticket on my car. That's good old Alberta for you.
The girl to guy ratio is grossly disproportionate in Alberta, where guys greatly outnumber girls. This means that the ugliest chicks (like i'm talking swamp donkeys and sea monkeys) can afford to act choosy with guys.
In Alberta, there is nothing to do, unless you're into drugs and alcohol, hence all the suicides, crime and overdoses.
I was driving through Alberta, and a cop pulled me over and gave me tickets for no reason. I was told he had to meet his "quota".
I parked my car in Edmonton, Alberta, for under a minute and when I returned, I found a ticket on my car. That's good old Alberta for you.
The girl to guy ratio is grossly disproportionate in Alberta, where guys greatly outnumber girls. This means that the ugliest chicks (like i'm talking swamp donkeys and sea monkeys) can afford to act choosy with guys.
by yuwannaknomynamefu August 13, 2018
More exciting than Sask and Manitoba put together, the two biggest cities hate eachothers hockey teams. Edmonton has one of the biggest malls in the world (The biggest in North America) Like texas but cold as fuck in the winter (usually about 8 fucking months long) And Green and the perfect temperature for the other 4 months. Majority of the population hates the liberal party and would just love to Quebec and punch some french fuck in the face. Probably has more 50k Plus trucks on the road than anywhere else in the world. I kid you not there are more trucks & Suv's on the road than cars. Everyone has a little redneck in them. Calgary is home to The Stampede where a bunch of city folk dress up and pretend to be cowboys and cowgirls but fail and all the real farmers and cowboys laugh at them. Calgary has more knife killings per year than guns usually. Has a bunch of small towns that think there better than the cities and all the cities think there better than small town, but in all reality there all the same. Calgary has a complete fuck tard for a mayor and the council isn't any better. Some bitch on the counsil spent like 2 million dollars to make a c train station look better. No one gives a fuck about that shit! Everyone hates the C train.
by Alberta901 August 05, 2010
A province in Canada, Alberta is a provinced filled with rednecks with their lifted Dodges. Dodge RAM 1500 pickups are extremely common and you would usually see at least one during your commute. Its like the Texas of Canada. There is a Dodge dealership in every town, the two major cities Edmonton and Calgary hate each other, and mountains. People usually work in the trades such as a welder or an oil rig technician and make good money so many Newfies (Newfoundlanders) come here for a job. Then they usually buy a house and finance a Dodge RAM. We are famous for our beef because you cant live without beef. Everyone in Alberta hates their premier, Rachel Notley because of the Carbon tax because everything is more expensive.
by SloppySandbagz January 09, 2017
by Shit tickler January 30, 2018
The richest province in Canada. And the only economic fuel for Quebec. The French have nothing so they must take what is rightful Alberta's oil and make it "rightfully theirs".
French guy,"Hey we alreay have the rest of Canada to pay for our great health care system; why don't we take our oil money from Alberta and buy our liberal ministers hookers."
by JohnnyB5 November 11, 2005
Alberta. No rats. Well, most of the time. Cold for 8-10 months and either scorching hot or not quite hot enough for the rest. Snow in June and 20+ in February sometimes. Hail and mini tornadoes blow across the lands at least once or twice per year, and chinook winds make you feel like spring is coming when really you have about two months left. This is where Groundhog Day is rarely accurate and trucks rule the roads. Oil is a big industry but really, there's a lot more to it than just cold, oil and plains. The Rockies open the opportunity of skiing and snowboarding practically in your backyard, and 80% of small town raised boys are in Minor hockey. City folks pretend to be small town rednecks but really they don't know a thing about it. The stampede is annual no matter what (hell or high water). Edmonton oilers and Calgary flames, they hate each other but it's okay because despite it everything, deep down everyone knows they both suck. A great province with some major flaws but the local crowd are proud to be Albertan.
by Erry bear September 05, 2013
by Greenrose May 15, 2009