Achilles

Achilles was the best of Greeks and lover of Patroclus. Patroclus was NOT Achilles' cousin. This came about because the director and screenwriters of the movie Troy thought it was too gay to have their macho hero so torn up about the death of his best guy friend that he went on a killing spree. he myth that his mother, the goddess Thetis dipped him in the River Styx came along AFTER the Iliad. Achilles was trained by the centaur Chrion, who also trained heroes like Hercules. He probably met Patroclus sometime during his training and they fell in love like dorks do. However, when they got to Troy they probably had a ton of threesomes, especially with Briseis. The fun ended when Agamenmon took Briseis away because he was a dick. So Achilles refused to fight and sulked in his tent until Patroclus decided that he'd go into battle dressed as Achilles to lift moral. Patroclus was a total badass, and even killed Sarpedon, the son of Zeus before Hector killed him. When Achilles found out his lover had died he refused to eat, drink, or leave the corpse's side until his mother convinced him to take his rage out on everyone. He killed everyone on his way to Hector, including a fucking river god. When he finally killed Hector, he dragged his corpse around the walls of Troy. Now, in the Iliad, he eventually gives the body back to the Trojans and that's the end. His death MAY have been caused by an arrow to the heel, but it's also very likely that it was something else.

Person A: Hey, did you know Achilles was in love with his cousin?

Person B: Actually, Patroclus wasn't his cousin! That was just some bullshit the movie Troy would have you believe because it couldn't handle the gay!

by actualgrantaire August 22, 2015

achilles last stand

One of the greatest hard rock songs of all time, written and performed by Led Zeppelin. Crazy solos, intense riffs and 10 and a half minutes long. Comes close to Stairway to being the greatest hard rock song ever.

The Achilles Last Stand guitar tab gave me a headache.

by GUITARHERO June 11, 2006

achillean

The gay-men equivalent of "Sapphic". A term describing a gay man or gay relationship, usually sexual in connotation.
Comes from the Greek hero Achilles, who was well-known for having male lovers.
See Sapphic

Andrew is a pig; he says achillean love is disgusting, but "encourages" sapphic love.

by felicitousFeline December 11, 2016

Achilles last stand

Led Zeppelin's Rock-Epic. One of the best Rock songs ever written. A journey through "Sandy lands" & "Treading the air above the din".

The song was dropped after only 2 or 3 times during the Page & Plant tour of 1995. The song was so powerful they felt it surpassed all perfomances of '77 & '80.

Achilles Last Stand...The mighty arms of Atlas, hold the heavens fron the earth.....Robert Plant. Led Zeppelin

by lovetorim May 7, 2007

Achilles Meal

A food you can't refuse. Usually served to either pave the way for a huge favor, or to soften the impact of potentially devastating news.

"Dude, she hit me in my Achilles Meal: bacon-wrapped filet. I had no choice but to give her my wallet."

or

"Once I saw we were having homemade ribs, I knew she must've killed the car. My Achilles Meal had struck again."

by brainchild September 3, 2005

Achilles Heel

A weak point or quality of a person

The kid wasn't good at jump shots.
"Jump Shot are his Achilles Heel"

by the mess May 15, 2004

Achilles' heel

noun; a weakness in someone or something that is strong overall (the weakness is often, but not always, seemingly small but crucial, leading to misfortunate events)

The Brazilian soccer team's defense was its Achilles' heel in World Cup 1998. Despite having strong forwards, the team was ultimately scored upon three times by France.

by Nathan September 1, 2008