The most beautiful of all meats. Its perfection is to such a degree that in Dante's "Divine Comedy", the highest level of heaven was described as being made from bacon.
According to numerous ancient texts, bacon is the divine force that prevents Chaos from destroying the universe. The primal gods needed food to supply them with the energy to create everything, and that food was bacon.
Nowadays, bacon can be prepared in numerous ways:
1) Fried
2) Raw (not recommended)
3) Smoked
4) Baked (like fried, but not greasy)
5) Caramelized (sugary bliss)
6) Covered in chocolate
7) Supplemented with lesser foods (as in filet mignon)
8) Milkshakes, ice creams, etc.
Essentially, bacon is the ambrosia of all foods. Without, mankind would descend into darkness and perish. To prevent this, bacon should be consumed once a week AT MINIMUM. Else, dire consequences would ensue.
There is a special place in Hell for those who despise bacon.
According to numerous ancient texts, bacon is the divine force that prevents Chaos from destroying the universe. The primal gods needed food to supply them with the energy to create everything, and that food was bacon.
Nowadays, bacon can be prepared in numerous ways:
1) Fried
2) Raw (not recommended)
3) Smoked
4) Baked (like fried, but not greasy)
5) Caramelized (sugary bliss)
6) Covered in chocolate
7) Supplemented with lesser foods (as in filet mignon)
8) Milkshakes, ice creams, etc.
Essentially, bacon is the ambrosia of all foods. Without, mankind would descend into darkness and perish. To prevent this, bacon should be consumed once a week AT MINIMUM. Else, dire consequences would ensue.
There is a special place in Hell for those who despise bacon.
A) The true reason that the Romans destroyed Jerusalem in the late 1st century CE was that the Jewish people refused to accept the Romans' gift of divine bacon.
B) "When you can't have sex, have bacon. When you can't have bacon, cry." -Every sane human. Ever.
C) Bacon is to meats as badonkadonk is to female anatomy.
B) "When you can't have sex, have bacon. When you can't have bacon, cry." -Every sane human. Ever.
C) Bacon is to meats as badonkadonk is to female anatomy.
by BarryGoldwater November 6, 2012
Get the bacon mug.this is the tasty treat that comes from the loveable animal the pig. bacon is good for everybody. it helps you store fat for the winter and is full of protein.
by ZachiZZo November 29, 2003
Get the bacon mug.Related Words
by Lord Jack February 5, 2008
Get the bacon mug.when put between 2 slices of bread with some sauce, it becomes lifes greatest pleasures.
it can also cure hunger, and it can stop war - if they used it as a weapon.
it can also cure hunger, and it can stop war - if they used it as a weapon.
by burkland February 14, 2004
Get the bacon mug.The greatest person in the world. Also known as Baekhyun. He's the sweetest guy ever. He is married to Chanyeol and they sail the happiest ship next to HunHan.
by OhMyBacon September 10, 2012
Get the Bacon mug.by lexicon June 15, 2003
Get the Bacon mug.(n.) in fact, the holiest of all meats. The story, according to the Bible of the Bacon, goes as such:
"And on the sixth day, God created the pig, and saw that it was good. And taking the choicest cuts, he blessed them, and said 'This is the holiest of meats. I shall call it Bacon', and he saw just how good of a decision had been made."
- Genesis, 13:17
In fact, a whole religion has been created around the holiest of meats, entitled the FreeBacons.
"And on the sixth day, God created the pig, and saw that it was good. And taking the choicest cuts, he blessed them, and said 'This is the holiest of meats. I shall call it Bacon', and he saw just how good of a decision had been made."
- Genesis, 13:17
In fact, a whole religion has been created around the holiest of meats, entitled the FreeBacons.
by Brother In Bacon December 17, 2009
Get the Bacon mug.