Wanking off

1) masturbating
2) Being lazy.

1) Mom was horrified when she caught Jimmy wanking off to internet porn.
2) Would you quit wanking off and get back to work already?

by PapaPalpatine2008 May 15, 2015

Waking off

When a male wakes up with morning wood, then proceeds to relieve himself by masturbating.

"I woke up this morning and caught Dave waking off! I enjoyed it thoroghly..."

by J-Raq October 22, 2006

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

Wanking off a Smurf

When people have blue hands which have been dyed with ink, paint etc they are said to have wanked off a smurf.

Why are your hands blue? Have you been wanking off a smurf or something?

by thanksthatsastupidsuggestion March 7, 2021

canadian style (whacking off)

When you beat off with your hand the the opposite position as it would normally be. Your thumb is closest to the base. And your pinky is extended up into the air.

Ben decided to try canadian style after four hours when his arm began to cramp up.

by Metalideth April 16, 2003

Wanking Dead Dogs off

What a man (or woman) does to pass the time of day if he so wishes.

"Where's Ginner?"

"Wanking dead dogs off at the side of the road"

"Oh"

by Edith Pilchester July 30, 2008

Wanking’t dog off

Wanking’t dog off indicates that a person is not doing anything at that moment in time and/or has no plans.

PSA- no dogs shall be harmed, the masturbation of canines is not included.

Alex: what are you doing today?

Caitlin: Wanking’t dog off.

by Cwilss March 4, 2024