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update ambush

On your laptop you mistakenly select "Shutdown" instead of "Sleep". Windows begins the update process and request that you do not power off or unplug your computer. This usually occurs when your preparing to leave the library after a long night of studying.
Girlfriends text: "Hey you want to come over?"
You text: "Sure...leaving the library and will be there in 5 minutes!"

<Time Elapse>
Knock Knock...
Girlfriend: "You're 3 hours late..."
You: "Sorry I got update ambushed right when I was about to leave"
Girlfriend: "Oh no! Are you alright?"
You: "Yeah I'm fine."
Girlfriend: "What are you supposed to do?"
You: "Well usually I give up, smoke a bong full of Fruit Loops, and head to bed."

Thanks Microsoft!
by tm4c September 25, 2011
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update addiction

A debilitating psychological condition which affects computer users everywhere. Update addiction has to do with the excessive downloading of software updates and should not be confused with an Updating Whore. You are likely an update addict if...

You click "Software Update..." (on Mac) or "Windows Update" (on Windows) more than three times a day.

You cannot resist buying the latest version of software or operating system -- even if you don't need, want, or even care to know about the new features.

You click "Check for updates" every time you run a program.

You stay up late watching the progress bar to make sure your latest update "really updated."

You get frustrated by stable software because it doesn't require updates every other day. So you always choose beta or nightly builds to ensure that you can download a maximum number of updates.
Dude: Dang! I just clicked Software Update, and it didn't find anything to update. What am I going to do???

Chick: (rolls eyes) Dunno man. Click it again?

Dude: Ok.

Chick: You need help. You have update addiction.

Dude: Ok, but before I go to the clinic, I need to go buy XYZSoft5. I only have XYZSoft4.
by jacopaco August 19, 2010
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update rape

Whenever a computer updates itself constantly and you either repeatedly tell it "remind me later" or "don't update" and the computer continues updating itself anyway
Man 1: My laptop keeps updating even though I tell it no

Man 2: Dude, you're being update raped
by adambomb9 November 22, 2010
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update rape

Forced software update crippling or hindering device operation
My iPod was totally screwed thanks to Apple's latest update rape.
by D. Bagginstein December 25, 2011
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update your status

A Facebook reference that occurs when someone comes to you with something that happened a long time ago and is really old.
"But I thought you were working on a novel?" Nameless, uninformed person asks.

"Dude, I gave that up months ago. Update your status."
by Charmayne K. April 13, 2010
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Update nazi

A person who hates every update even if it's bad or good
Person1: What do you this about the new discord update? I like it.
Person2: It's absolute shit. I'm quitting
Person1: What an update nazi
by heyonow August 9, 2019
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update the puppets

(Verb.) Referring to the trimming of one's pubic hair
Synonyms: "man-scaping", waxing, "mowing the lawn," etc.
This No-shave November did a doozie on me down there, I have to seriously update the puppets.
by beekachu222 November 28, 2016
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