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triathlon widow

Spouse of a triathlete.

A triathlete is any person who was once human, but has now transformed into something super-human, and can no longer hang out with other mere mortals. They must spend all their spare time swimming, biking, running, and shaving themselves in order to keep their new-found sport god status. During this time, they are technically still married, but their wife/husband considers them dead due to their lack of normal human function.
Note: The spouse is only considered a triathlon widow during the time the triathlete is wasting all their spare time spent training, racing, shaving, or thinking about their multi-sport addiction in general.
I'm a triathlon widow this weekend. My husband is gone from our family for 3 days to do an Iron Man race 5 states away. Yes, he had to pay to be in it, and no he does not win anything.
by Triathlon Widow October 1, 2009
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Parent triathlon

Three events completed in one day involving kids (yours or someone else's) in one or more of three separate events encompassing each of these categories: running/walking/hiking, water sports and use of a manually propelled wheeled vehicle.
I completed a parent triathlon: ran 3.5 miles, swam with the kids, mowed the lawn.
by natsmo June 22, 2009
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Greek Triathlon

A Triathlon that consists of Drinking, Eating, and Fucking.
Teacher: Why are you late today!
Student: Um I was competing in a Greek Triathlon?
Teacher: Good Excuse

John: Yo Todd heard you got fucked up last night.
Todd: Yeah I killed it in the Greek Triathlon
by Illuminati LT August 11, 2012
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triathlon

The coolest fricken sport in the whole world and includes swimming, biking, and running.
by Anonymous March 31, 2003
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ironman triathlon

The most intense race which usually takes all day to finish and includes in this order swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles and running 26.2 miles without breaks just to get a medal, tshirt and hear your name at the finish line
Person 1: wow Morgan has been spending a lot of time running lately

Person 2: she is intense I heard she is training for the ironman triathlon in October.
by trollolrun March 16, 2017
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Kentucky Triathlon

A three-sport event consisting of cockfighting, meth cooking, and cousin fucking.
Billy Bob was the winner of last year's Kentucky Triathlon.
by xgetsthesquare August 19, 2009
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Tribathlon

A competitive or non-competitive event, where participants attempt to complete without stopping in three successive events, hot or dry sauna, whirlpool or hot tub, and steam bath.
Lewis I do not want to do the triathlon today, I will beat you in a tribathlon instead!
by Ben V April 18, 2006
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