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Tommy Topper

Someone who always has a story to top another persons story.
(Billy): I just met an NFL quarterback.
(John AKA Tommy topper): Oh yeah well I have met every NFL quarterback.
by Jim Tan February 12, 2009
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Tommy Tuberville

Quite possibly the dumbest motherfucker to ever have a seat in the United States senate.

A former Auburn football coach (and an awful one at that) that ran for Senate in Alabama despite knowing absolutely fuck all about politics. He is incapable of identifying the three branches of government in the United States, doesn't even know the reason why the U.S. fought in World War II, and rejects the January 6th commission "until they make it bipartisan", despite the commission already being bipartisan.

Only voted in because Alabama voters only care whether or not a candidate has an 'R' after their name, as long as said candidate doesn't have credible pedophile accusations against them. (see Roy Moore)
Noteworthy Tommy Tuberville moments:

-Claims the Jan. 6th insurrection "should've never happened" and was not justified (which is true, but...), despite one of his first orders of business being to try to overturn the 2020 election results and being complicit prior to this statement.

-In an interview, stated “Our government wasn’t set up for one group to have all three branches of government — wasn’t set up that way. You know, the House, the Senate, and the executive.”

-Claims his father fought in World War II “liberating Paris from socialism and communism.”

As time goes on, there's bound to be more. Alabama deserves better than this, but sadly, not much can be done when voters are stupid enough to vote for people like Tuberville. To think an actual politician like Doug Jones was voted out in favor of this clown.
by PurplePenguin007 June 4, 2021
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Tommy Tear Gas

When someone farts and it smells so bad you have to leave the room or your eyes start welling up.
Chase: "Dude WTF is that? I gotta leave the room."
Tommy: "Thats a little something we like to call Tommy Tear Gas!"
by F/K\R Gordy January 1, 2009
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tommy tank

by Deano Thommo August 16, 2005
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Tommy Texter

A person who texts in a movie theatre, illuminating everyone and everything behind them. This person is either ignorant, selfish, or both. The concept was originated by Cineplex Entertainment as a pre-show ad, encouraging filmgoers to turn off their phones.
"Don't be a Tommy Texter. Let everyone enjoy the show."
by lalaconz May 31, 2014
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tommy tug

2 seconds love your boring me im off for a tommy tug = lol
by drunkeyjoe September 6, 2007
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Tommy the Towel

Hotel guest that orders up extra amenities (shampoo, lotion, or towels) to his room. When delivered by housekeeper, the guest comes out of the bathroom, drops towel covering himself and chases housekeeper around the room naked.
Housekeeper to GM: "Sir, I just delivered 5 bottles of extra lotion to room 563 and the man came out of the bathroom, dropped his towel and chased me around the room naked".

GM to Hotel Employee: "Well sweetheart.....you got Tommy the Towel'd"!!
by urbigbrother June 11, 2011
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