The Woodlands

The town north of Houston with a population just under 100,000 where about 10% of the population is poor or middle class, and the rest are...not. It is a town where people are supposed to cherish the environment through several programs and the environmentally friendly layout of the town, yet many residents own/are involved with oil companies. It is a town where all parents talk about what a "family-friendly community" it is, while their kids smoke crack and have an orgy in the backyard because they're too busy going to yoga classes to notice. It is a town where The John Cooper School is located...the well-known private school where most students get a sports car for their 16th birthday (not an exaggeration), and some millionaires are considered poor. It is a town where in the PUBLIC SCHOOLS, a kid driving a 2003 BMW is considered poor. It is a town where the first ad you see in the local magazine is either Gucci, Lamborghini, or Rolex. It is a town where, when in an aircraft, one might mistake a neighborhood for an unusually close group of Walmarts. It is a town where most residents under the age of 8 don't know what a Walmart is. It is a town where a 10-year-old without an iPhone is an outcast. It is a town where despite a "love of the environment", the plant people tend to love the most there is weed. It is a town where that is the only kind of weed people are aware of, because they all have gardeners.

Joe: My cousin lives in The Woodlands.

Josh: Does he have a ferrari?

Joe: He got one for his birthday, along with a helicopter.

by fairysprinklesalpacadoomorange March 12, 2012

The Woodlands

A town north of Houston with the assiest people around. Stuck up snobs they are but with an awesome reputation in EVERYTHING! I don\'t know whether to be proud or embarassed.

Big house, expensive house, fake boys, fake girls, best schools

by Geuhlee April 26, 2005

The Woodlands

FUCK THIS TOWN

John: Hey honey, do you wanna move to The Woodlands?

Sally: Hey fuckface, do you want our daughter to be a blonde clone of every fucking person in The Woodlands? Do you want our son to be a pothead/alcoholic? Do you wanna get a divorce?

John: Good point, maybe we shouldn't

Sally: No shit

by TTI December 31, 2008

The Woodlands

THE biggest ghetto in Texas... you can't find a single white person in the whole town. people get shot all the freakin time, and you can't park your car and leave it for half an hour or someone will smash your windows. you do not want to fuck with people from the woodlands.

Yesterday LaRon got shot in the woodlands.

by beware September 27, 2005

The Woodlands

People in The Woodlands, tx are very snobby and arrogant. No one here has individualism in mind and they're usually very mainstream. With the exception of those who try for their own identity, but just end up listening to bad music. You know, because Simple Plan is OH so tuff. Pretty much anyone you meet from the woodlands is fake or unusually closeminded. Here, people like football and meat. A lot.

"hi i listen to bad music, spend 3 hours getting ready, have loads of money, and i tease people."
where you from?
"the woodlands."

by christina a July 8, 2005

The Woodlands

Otherwise known as "The Compton of Texas", The Woodlands is the most fuckin ghetto town ever. Don't come to The Woodlands if you are not black, period. The schools are filled with drugs and guns. There are no police in The Woodlands because they are afraid of getting shot. People sleep on matresses under the windows because there are so many drive-bys.

In The Woodlands High School, LaQuincy and Jamal got in a gun fight today at school and shot each other to deaf.

D'JaLaron came out of his house to find his 1982 El Camino sittin on cinderblocks because someone stole his spinner hub caps

by D'metrius Fagg January 20, 2006

The Woodlands

the crazyiest gangsta town you will ever see this side of H town

Dude, you see the guys from The Woodlands, those are the crazyiest Mo Fo's in TX, fuck those in H town

by Troy Smith January 2, 2005